How Feelings Influence How we Use our Time June 9, 2010

I’ve been recently digesting a wonderful article from CCEF called Strong Emotions: Extreme Confidence. Author and Biblical Counselor Ed Welch packs some powerful principles into this short article.  His premise is, “When you feel something strongly, you are very confident in whatever that emotion says about you, other people and God.”

I’ve been seeking to apply his teaching in several areas of my life and time usage is one of them.  What do emotions and time have to do with each other?  Feelings.  I’m starting to see how much feelings affect how I use my time.

• Ugh…I know I planned to grocery shop today but I just don’t feel like doing it.  I’ll order pizza tonite and shop tomorrow.
• Yes, I told Benny I would take care of doing the pool chemicals for him but I really wanna catch up on some emails.
• Hmmm, I haven’t had a Chick Fila sandwich in awhile.  The budget is kinda tight right now I know, but I’ve been craving one for days!
• That bath tub really needs a good scrubbing but I really want to finish that book chapter.  It can wait.

Feelings — fed by emotions and desires — can be really strong. The Chick Fila example is a recent one for me.  It was almost like my car drove itself into the drive-thru!  “I really should get home” and “This isn’t a wise decision” didn’t keep me from giving in to my desire for a yummy chicken sandwich and some sweet tea.   What happened?  There was a part of me that felt I deserved lunch I didn’t have to prepare because of how much I deny myself things to serve my family. So I just did it.

I’m not suggesting that reading, delaying grocery shopping or splurging on your favorite fast food sandwich is necessarily wrong.  But when we consistently give in to our feelings rather than making wise decisions then we have a problem.  I’m beginning to see how right Mr. Welch is.  When I feel something strongly not much can keep me from doing what I want to do.

So today’s question is this:  What feelings, desires and emotions most affect how you use your time? Does feeling unappreciated tempt to you regularly procrastinate because no one really cares or notices your efforts anyway?  Does feeling distant from God keep you from spending devotional time with Him because your spiritual life is dry and meaningless?  Do you find yourself falling into a pattern of laziness at work or at home because you don’t feel your efforts mean much?

I have good news for you and me.  We don’t have to live and make decisions by our feelings!  Our emotions don’t have to govern our decisions!  Because of the work Christ did on the cross, freeing us from the bondage of sin that once obligated us to obey ourselves (including our feelings and emotions), we can change.  With His empowering help we can learn to say no to what we feel when those feelings conflict with His gracious demand to “esteem others as more important than ourselves” (Phil 2: what a chapter!).

Ok, I don’t want to get up.  I’m propped up on by bed writing this post.  But Benny asked me to run an errand for him and because I don’t want to be a hypocrite I’m going to happily go take care of this for him.  At moments like this (and we all have these moments regularly!) we can rejoice in knowing God isn’t just pleased by the big, heroic things we do.  He’s also pleased when we run an errand when we don’t “feel” like it.

Posted by Sheree

Making Time For What we Don’t Like June 6, 2010

Last Friday I asked the first of 4 questions that can help to introduce us to heart issues about how we use (or wish we could use) our time.  Today’s two-part question is this:  In a given week, what responsibility do I love most and am glad I “get” to do?  What responsibility do I enjoy least and wish I didn’t “have” to do?

Some time ago a friend and I were discussing these questions.  Her “have” to do was mopping the kitchen floor while mine was cleaning out the refrigerator.  We both agreed that our attitudes toward these chores resulted in putting them off, even if it meant doing other household duties — ones we enjoy or simply like a tad more than the dreaded ones!

When evaluating how I spend my time, I find it easy to fall into this kind of procrastination.  I enjoy reading and answering emails more than ironing; cleaning the bathroom more than dusting and vacuuming the family room; blogging (smile) more than folding laundry.

No woman loves all the duties of biblical womanhood.  Part of that is because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator.  How we answer those email questionnaires says something about how we are wired by God.  Diamonds or pearls?  Hugs or kisses?  Coffee or tea?  Mountains or beach?  Sometimes even the little things remind us that we are different by design.  But when it comes to important things like how we spend our time, personal preference can’t remain a matter of feelings or opinions.  If I keep putting off cleaning out the frig because I want to answer emails I will eventually have some really nasty stuff growing in my kitchen.

So here’s what I told my friend is my favorite way to spend my time in a given week:  hanging out with my ever growing family.  I’m blessed to have all my children (three of the seven are still at home) and grandchildren closeby and I enjoy every minute we have together.  And, of course, I get to sleep next to my very best friend every night.

But I admit it.  Sometimes I choose this thing I love simply to avoid things I don’t love.  Often it’s a good thing.  Like the morning last week when one of my big girls needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. I eagerly left my undone laundry to spend some time with her.  But other times the better thing is to say no to lunch with some of the grandkids because we need clean clothes…soon.

Good questions and honest answers can lead to wise choices that produce lifestyle changes.  I hope our questions will serve in this way for some of you as they are for us.

More questions later this week!

Posted by Sheree

P.S.  Here’s a challenge for this week:  let’s do that “have to” thing we’ve been putting off before the week ends.  If you’re game let us know what it is (i.e cleaning out a closet, asking for a friend or family member’s forgiveness, organizing the kids toys, starting an exercise program).  Wouldn’t it be fun to make a list of some of the “have to’s” that get accomplished this week? Just post your comment and we’ll make the list available soon.  I’m inspired just thinking about this!

Questions about Time…and Life June 4, 2010

So here’s a question for you.  If you had a day to yourself how would you spend it?

I ask myself this question occasionally.  Why?  Because my answer reveals desires in my heart.

• “I’d spend it sleeping!” might reveal either that I’m physically exhausted and probably need more sleep…or that I’m discouraged and think extra sleep will bring relief to my worries.
• “I’d take my daughters to lunch and shopping” could demonstrate it’s been too long since we girls hung out…or that I’m wanting to quiet my concerns that some recent conflicts among us have affected our relationship.
• “I’d spent it alone in peace and quiet!” might mean that I could really use some time to myself…or that I’m unknowingly nursing bitterness, anger or self-pity concerning the responsibilities or people God has put in my life.
• “I’d spend the whole day with my husband” could suggest any number of things:  a warm and healthy marriage; longing to be more of a priority in your husband’s busy life; stirrings of curiosity that motherhood is slowly chipping away at the importance of the priority of your marriage; or simply a delicious desire to hang out with your best friend.

Asking ourselves seemingly silly questions like this can be a great way to spend a little time thinking about life.  Yes, our answers reveal what’s in our hearts: hopes, disappointments, evidences of God’s grace (“Hey, I wouldn’t have answered this question the same last year.  Yay!”), sinful attitudes, or areas of needed growth (“Wow.  I didn’t even realize I was worried about the lack of time my husband and I have together”).

More questions to come next week!

Posted by Sheree

Time Costs Us June 2, 2010

Ok, I’m about to be really honest.  I love spending.  I have friends who hate to shop.  Not me.  I love carrying and then bringing home packages.  Finding a great sale on matching Easter dresses for my granddaughters or a necklace that will perfectly match my daughter’s dress or catching a jeans sale for my son.  And what about when your friend’s favorite author just released a new book — right in time for her birthday?  Oh, and finding the exact color of flip flops to match the shirt you got for your birthday.

The only problem with spending is that it requires using money.  But what fun when God provides the funds to bless or surprise others…or to get something new for yourself!

Clothes, shoes and birthday gifts aren’t the only thing that require spending.  Another thing we spend is time. No, we don’t exchange money for it.  But we “spend” time by exchanging one activity for another.

• I’m spending time writing this blog right now which is “costing” me time to continue my laundry.
• We spend time on facebook or checking email rather than doing some household chore.
• A date night with our husband means we have to spend time earlier that day preparing food and getting the kids ready for the babysitter.
• We choose to spend time getting some extra sleep…and then pay later when the boss notices we’re late to work.

Our time isn’t limitless, so there are always choices about how to spend it.  Some of our choices are Spirit-led.  Sometimes it’s wise to get some extra sleep (when it doesn’t mean getting late to work, that is.)  The Holy Spirit moves in conversations that sometimes means lingering over coffee with a hurting friend.  A date night with our husband is worth the time spent preparing food for the kids we won’t eat and readying the house for the babysitter.

But the point is always this:  time is time spent. This means time has value!  Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home, have small or grown children, are single and live alone or have a house bustling with people we are all busy ladies.  Ladies with time to spend however we choose to spend it.

Perhaps your heart is sinking right now.  “A series on time management?  Yuk.  I already know I stink at this and now I’m just gonna be reminded of all the things I’m not doing!”  Or maybe time management is a perceived strength and you’re glad.  “This is so timely…my friend really needs this!”

Whether how you spend time is a strength or a weakness, please join us.  Our blog team consists of two grandmothers with only grown kids at home, a newlywed who works full time outside the home and a stay-at-home mom of four young children — and we know that every season of a woman’s life makes time management challenging.

You won’t be getting lists or suggested schedules or many how-to’s.  But you will get to know us each better…and probably see yourself in our temptations and struggles to manage life in a busy world that we face.

Posted by Sheree

Thank God For Moms! May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day!

We have come to the close of our series on honoring the moms in our lives – but, like Sheree mentioned in this month’s Mom’s Meeting, the encouragement can (and should!) continue every day! Our family and friends should hear from us often on evidences of grace in their lives and ways in which they have affected us by their examples. Far from being a chore, this is a privilege – a delight!

Over the past few weeks we have been able to hear from several ladies. Now WE at the Metro Moms Blog wanted to thank each of these mothers for their example, for the diligence with which they have trained and taught and cared for their children and families.

Angie

Lisa

Jeannette

Cissy

Barbara

Virginia

Karlene, Allura, and Patte

Ladies, we trust it has been encouraging to you to hear from your daughter! As a small “thank you” to you, we would like to send you to Starbucks on us…maybe for your next Mother/Daughter date? =)  

Stay tuned for our brand new series, which Sheree Phillips will begin on Wednesday – see you then!

Thank God For Moms! May 28, 2010

Our friend Ashley sent us this cute story of her daughter, Bristol. Thanks, Ashley!!

When I was pregnant with Willow, Bristol was so excited about her being born and she always wanted to talk to Willow through my belly and give her kisses. We went to my sister’s house for dinner and Bristol ran in and pulled on my sister’s shirt. When my sister asked what she was doing she replied, “Where’s your Willow at?”

Have a great weekend and we’ll see you Monday!

Thank God For Moms! May 27, 2010

I know, I know, it’s Thursday (we don’t normally post on Thursdays) but we wanted to squeeze in one more entry! Today’s is from Heather Mellichamp about her mother, Karlene, and two ladies, Patte and Allura, who were very instrumental in her recent journey to becoming a Christian! Heather is, herself, a young mom of three adorable kiddos. Thank you, Heather, for sharing this with us!!

“My Mom…God has blessed me three-fold with this statement and all three have played an enormous role in my spiritual and personal growth in this journey we call life.

My mom has always dedicated her life to doing what she felt was in our best interest even in the tough times, like being newly single with me as a newborn and my 4 year old brother. Whatever it took to keep her kids, clothed, a roof over our heads, a good education, etc. She was at every sporting event, every dance, every religious ceremony, never missing a beat. She raised me to value family, hard work, and commitments to friends and work. My mom loved us without hesitation and put stepping-stones in place that got me where I am today. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me my mom!

My spiritual mom was there countless nights – all hours – as I birthed from going through the motions to having Christ fill my soul. She never gave up, never let me wallow in self pity. She just kept pushing God’s word in front of me – directing me to where my eyes should be looking and Who was calling me, pulling me closer and closer to Himself, so that I could be a Child of Christ. She was always truthful and honest, yet caring and loving. She was the friend to laugh with, the friend to cry with, and the friend to just sit with and lay my head on her shoulder. Soon she will be taking a new journey and there will be many miles between us. I am comforted in knowing that Jesus will never leave either of us. He will continue to work within us both for His glory. I will be forever blessed and thankful to You, Jesus, for my spiritual mom!

My big sister mom chose me as her “adopted” daughter and little sister. She has taken me under her wing and loved and guided my children and me on this journey we are taking. She also spent countless nights directing me to look to and trust in the only one that could save me, Jesus Christ. She never lets me forget Who it is that I need to turn to in times of trouble. And when all is said and done, we can sit and praise our Father that has taken us from the depths of our suffering and made us anew. Her sense of humor lights up the room, her words and actions are filled with love, but most of all the example she sets of what a true disciple of Christ looks like is amazing. I am sooo blessed God has connected us as mother and daughter, as big and little sisters, and as Children of Christ. I look forward to the many more times we can share, both on the side-walks and off. Jesus, you have made a wonderful bond between us, thank you, thank you, thank you!

To my moms: you will always be in my thoughts, on my heart, and in my prayers!

Heather”

Thank God For Moms! May 26, 2010

Today’s entry is from 17 year old Joanna Knowles about her mom, Virginia (who just happens to be the mother of ten children!). What a wonderful example – Joanna, thank you for sharing with us!

“I don’t even know where to start in writing about my mom. Every time I fill a line of this blank document with an attempt of describing her and what she means to me, I delete it because it just doesn’t do justice. I’ll try again.

• My mom is faithfully investing into our family, year by year, decade by decade.
• She is known by her ear-to-ear smile and enthusiasm for life.
• She is a nurturer, an encourager.
• She is fascinated by words, an author and poet.
• She gives bear hugs and Advil.
• She folds laundry, folds laundry, folds laundry.
• She sang “Great is Thy Faithfulness” when I was small and she still sings it now. If you ask me, that says a lot about the faithfulness of God and how that trait has rubbed off on her.
• She signs “I love you” when I’m having a bad day.
• She loves different cultures. She loves God. One of her passions is to see different cultures love God. Missions-minded? Definitely.
• She’s feisty, intelligent, and speaks and writes her mind. She knows femininity does not mean being a wallflower or doormat. GO MOM!!!
• She puts on two pairs of reading glasses when one pair doesn’t do for her 46-year-old eyes.
• She kisses my dad and ignores the several cross-eyed, gagging kids behind her who pretend as if they’ve never seen thaaaat before.
• She thanks my brother-in-law for his care and love for my sister and consistently invests into their lives as a couple.
• Speaking of which, her first grandchild (a.k.a. my NEPHEW!!) will be born next month. She’s pretty psyched.
• She wipes fingerprints off the glass door, peanut butter and tears off of faces, grudges about wrongs done to her off of her mind.
• She sits in her recliner and reads her well-worn, large-print Bible, shutting out the lies and discouragement of the enemy and basking in her freedom found in Christ.
• She prayerfully intercedes before the throne of God for family, friends, situations, and future generations.
• She keeps going when the going gets tough.
• She plants seeds, plants seeds, plants seeds.
• She is my role-model. And I love her dearly.”

Thank God For Moms! May 24, 2010

We are continuing to receive submissions from our readers and have really enjoyed hearing from you! There are still a few more posts to come, so if you just haven’t had a chance to put in writing how you would like to honor your mom (or even your grandmother!) please send them in as soon as possible. We’re looking forward to hearing from you!

Today’s entry is from a good friend of mine, Katherine Peschau, about her mother. Thank you, Kathy, for giving us this glimpse of your mother!!

“My mom, Barbara Ann Riley, is an amazing lady. She has endured a lot in her life. Things that I would never want to walk through. She has unselfishly laid down her life for her family and others, expecting nothing in return.  She came home daily from teaching to deal with her three sometimes disrespectful children, prepared dinner, help with homework and get us off to various activities. 

Let me give you just a few more examples of my mother’s sacrificial serving.  She took many days off to care for me through many sicknesses and surgeries and serves my grandmother and my mentally disabled aunt.  In December a friend’s husband died and Mom helped her with taking care of many practical and relational details while dealing with some difficult situations with my youngest brother. These are only a few of the many kind, unselfish things my mother has done.

Due to sin on my part, life’s circumstances, and other reasons my mom and I don’t have the best relationship. My unkind words and hurtful motives have probably hurt her deeply, but she still chooses to serve me!  I am grateful for her example of joyfully laying down her life for others. 

Mom, I am so thankful for you and for how you have given your life away. I know you have not had an easy life, but I pray that these few words encourage you and give you strength as you persevere through yet another difficult season. Thank you for your unconditional love, joyful serving and the grace you pour out on those you touch.

Happy Mothers Day!

Love,

Katherine”

Thank God for Moms! May 21, 2010

I am sure the Lord gives us these hilarious moments with our children to balance out some of the more rather challenging times. =) The following are about our friend Dena Walley’s middle child, Ella.

“We were leaving the house and trying to get the kids in the car. They had already tried the typical ‘can I bring this toy or that?’ routine and we had told them no toys in the car this time since it was a quick trip. As we’re walking out the door, Ella pats the side of her dress which we then notice is protruding and says, ‘this is just a bump, it’s always been there.’ Of course, when we examined the ‘bump’ we found that, what do you know, it’s a toy. So we find that she’s not so shrewd but very funny!

Another classic Ella: ‘God goes under the house then comes in through your tummy. That’s how he gets into your heart.’”

Thanks for sharing, Dena!

(Ladies, don’t forget – we’d still love to hear from you! If you would like to honor your mother or you have a funny story to tell from conversations with your own kiddos, please send them to us!!!)