Confessing “I Don’t Want To Confess!” October 14, 2009

What is it about confessing my weaknesses and inabilities to do something I can normally do feels like I’m crying “Uncle!” – like I’m quitting? throwing in the towel?

I’m normally very happy to be really busy, even exhausted at times, as long as what I’m doing is worth while.    I even enjoy having many things on my plate at once – call me crazy, I know – but it’s true; that is until now!  You see for the past…I don’t even know how many…weeks/months I’ve had my first ever bout with tendinitis in my right arm.  It has made the simplest tasks extremely painful, if not completely impossible to do.   Did I mention I’m right-handed?  Thus my dilemma. Even typing has become a major challenge, and most likely a huge source of the problem to begin with, another issue I’m going to have to think about!

In contemplating what to confess considering my exhaustion…it’s quite clear!  I’m a self-sufficient and independent Wife/Mom/Nana who likes to do things the way she likes to do them WHEN she wants to do them.

But God has orchestrated this very busy time in my life to be lived with what could be a stumbling block.  I’m assured it won’t be if I will simply humble myself, confess my sin, acknowledge my limitations and ask for help! It isn’t easy to type left-handed, but I must if I want to get better.  It isn’t easy resisting the urge pick up my two-year old granddaughters when they say, “Hold you, Nana!” , but I must.

It’s really a challenge to ask for help with things I know I can do – but that is simply another manifestation of the ever growing vine of pride in my life!  Seeing it as sin, and confessing it to you and my Savior brings me great comfort for therein lies my hope!  The gospel of grace frees me from the obligation to keep sinning.  Instead I can actually thank God for my weakness because He will supply the strength I lack…hey, that sounds very familiar…Paul declared in 2 Corinthians exactly what my heart needs to hear:

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Certainly I am in no way comparing my tiny pain to what Paul faced, but God has used this in my life to reveal yet another layer of pride and self-sufficiency.  For this I am grateful!  I will have to work on the “boasting gladly in my weakness” part, as well as the “content with my weakness” part. The most amusing thing about this post?  I wasn’t sure what I needed to confess when I started typing…But God knew all along and led me to the Truth I needed to hear.  

Father, thank you for using a very familiar passage of scripture to open my eyes to see my need to confess fresh sin.  It is no surprise to You that this what I needed, and You didn’t have to reveal it to me.  But You did!  Thank You.  Please forgive me for my pride and self-sufficiency.  I have nothing to be proud of, and I’m certainly not self-sufficient.  I need You, and in this season of life I need others to help me as well.  Thank You for forgiveness of sin – my sin!  By it I am truly free!  In Jesus’ precious name, Amen!

Posted by Debi