What’s Fickle About Fatigue? October 12, 2009

What is it about fatigue that is so fickle?

As I write this post, I’m tired.  I’ve been busy for several days planning and preparing.  Meal planning and grocery shopping.  Running errands and getting prescription refills.  Writing up the kid’s weekly schedule and going over their plans for the week.  Scrubbing the bathroom and washing my sheets.  But the fatigue is welcome and hasn’t been a burden at all.  Why?  Because the work that’s made me tired has been preparing for a week at the beach alone with my Benny.

In a few hours we’ll be leaving.  I’ll have 6 whole days with him to myself.  While my body is weak, my heart is full of joy and anticipation.  I even had a hard time sleeping last night (common for women my age) but still woke up with renewed energy to finish the preparations…and I even have a spring in my step this morning.

I remember this happening when I was in high school.  I was up till the middle of the night studying for an exam.  Yet after only a few hours sleep I woke up eager to dress and leave.  Why?  My normal battles with not wanting to get out of bed so early were offset by having a cute new outfit to wear that day.  And, honestly, there was a guy I hoped would notice it.

In my life, fatigue is fickle when I don’t consider the heart issues that sometimes affect my exhaustion.  I simply allow what my heart is saying to affect how my body is feeling.

• I feel more tired when I’m cleaning if I’m feeling sorry for myself because my efforts are seemingly unappreciated…and the kitchen will just need cleaning again in a few hours.
• I battle fatigue more after a “short” night when what’s on my task list for the day is normal life stuff rather than a “fun” day including lunch with a friend or something special I’ve been anticipating.
• Exhaustion feels weightier to me when my heart is troubled by anxieties about the kids or lingering sinful attitudes following a conflict with Benny.

So this is my confession:  I allow my heart to make me feel more tired.

Fatigue is real.  Our bodies are weak.  We need adequate rest and sleep to function properly.  Our physical limitations are a reminder that we are dependent.  Unlike the One who “never slumbers nor sleeps” we are frail.  We need rest.  This humbles us, doesn’t it?  We can’t just keep working and cleaning and serving and doing without stopping to rest. So while there are times we just need to stop what we’re doing and take a nap, there are other times when we need to evaluate if our hearts are influencing our weariness.

Today I’m not “feeling” my weariness because my heart is light and cheery.  Isn’t it amazing that our hearts can affect the way our minds influence our bodies?  I’m sure once I get to the beach this afternoon the tiredness might set it.  But then I’ll have a week to “recover” from my hard work.

Hmm….then, like Jaime, I’ll probably wake up my first morning back home tired after all my relaxing, lounging and having fun.  But won’t that be mostly because I just don’t want to be back into normal life as a mother and homemaker?

Fatigue can be fickle, weighing on me one day but not the next, depending on what’s facing me on a particular day or week.

Speaking of that…I have more work to do before I leave this afternoon!  But before I go, would it serve you to consider what’s facing you this week?  Maybe it’s not a week at the beach with your husband.  It’s probably more of what you did last week:  cleaning, training, getting up every morning to leave for work, cooking, serving, wiping, hugging…. But if your heart is light and cheery as you do what God has called you to this week, perhaps you won’t “feel” your fatigue as much.

Whether we’re walking on the beach or taking another load of laundry to the washer, we can have a spring in our step because we’re doing God’s will.  His plan for me this week probably looks different than yours.  But both of us are pleasing Him.

Someone please remind me of this next Monday when I’m back at home doing laundry like you.

Posted by Sheree

P.S.  A note to the wonderful singles who frequent our blog.  Just know that when we post about things related to marriage and motherhood, we’re thinking about you.  Thank you for continuing to visit even though much of what we say doesn’t apply specifically to your life right now…and can surface sadness over what isn’t happening.  Your commitment to learn and apply the truths you read here humbles and inspires us.  We married ladies want to be like you.