So When is the Last Time you Read a Book? April 29, 2009

The third deal Carolyn encouraged us to not miss help make our pursuit of mentoring relationships practical: the opportunity to devour good resources.

As women, our lives are full.  Whether you’re working outside the home while juggling homemaking responsibilities or are at home with one or more children, all our lives can feel frenzied at times.  And believe me, getting older doesn’t mean life slows down.  (Yes, my friends and I bought into that delusion when our kids were young!)  But Carolyn wisely cautioned us that feeding our souls is something we can’t afford to neglect.

Were you surprised to hear her say that just 15 minutes of reading a day will result in completing 10 substantial books a year?  I certainly was.  At times during my life I, like you perhaps, thought I didn’t  have time to read.  Job, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, caring for sick kids, meal planning, cooking, errands, church meetings, taking a meal to a new mom, carpooling kids around town for soccer or music lessons…whew…I’m tired just thinking about it!  Who has time to actually finish reading a whole book???  If I had $5 for every book I started over the years I could easily buy the new recliner I’d like to replace for the dingy one now sitting in my family room.

You see, mentoring doesn’t happen only face to face.  Some of the people who have participated in my own training and mentoring have done so from the pages of books.  In fact, many of them have been dead for years.  When I read I like to picture myself actually talking to the author.  (Maybe that’s why several years ago I had a dream about chatting with Charles Spurgeon about his book, The Triumph of Faith in the Believer’s Life. I knew I was dreaming when I realized we were talking while watching my of my kids basketball games!)

I was encouraged and convicted by Carolyn’s honest but affectionately growing concern about how many of us make time for the computer — facebook, email, researching, writing or reading blogs, online shopping, etc — but not for enriching our lives, our relationship with God and our pursuit of godly womanhood through reading things that feed our souls.

I have shared her concern…about myself and others.  In fact, a few months back I did a survey on technology use of Metro ladies in various seasons including teens, singles, young moms and older ladies.  After receiving about 25 responses, I was surprised to learn that the average amount of time spent for personal (i.e. not job or school related) technology use was just shy of 3 hours a day! Jesse, who oversees our youth ministry here at Metro, did another survey at a recent youth meeting where he found that some of our teens are texting well over 1,000 times a month.  Yes, you read it right.  Over 1,000 texts in about 30 days.

Are there benefits to technology?  Certainly.  But is the often aimless chatter that  social networking (facebook, twitter, cell phones, texting, im, email) involves resulting in exchanging temporal fun for eternal values?  I have been freshly convicted by how easily I give in to the lure to check my email “real quick” before I fold some laundry, start my devotions or load the dishwasher.  Before I know it, 45 minutes have flown by and the important has been sacrificed because “I got mail.”

Carolyn encouraged us to consider structures we need in our lives that make sure we are protecting what is most important.  Some things to prayerfully consider:

• Not allowing myself to turn on the computer until my devotions are done and at least one morning chore is begun or completed.
• Limiting myself to a certain amount of time per day on the computer.
• Choosing one day per week to avoid an aspect of technology (email, internet reseach or etc) to devote that time to extra time in worship, prayer or study/ reading.  For ideas and joining others who are doing this check out the initiative our youth ministry is implementing here. It’s called Tech-less Tuesdays and it provides excellent reading options to replace technology use every Tuesday.

One last thing.  As we consider using our time more wisely and take more seriously the need to feed our souls with biblical truth, let’s not confuse a godly principle with the desire to earn His favor.  As Christians, we will never be more accepted and loved by God as we are this very moment.  Whether you devote regular time to reading and studying scripture and biblically sound books or haven’t completed a book in years, your standing before God is based only on the finished work of Christ on the cross!  What amazing news!  Yet the real truth is that the pace of our growth in godliness is no doubt affected by the choices we make with our time.

Stop for a minute and ask yourself if there is anything that needs to change about how you use your time each day.  Is the time you spend on the computer, talking on the phone with friends, watching tv or pursuing hobbies detracting from consistent time growing in godliness?  If so, it may be time to humbly assess making some changes.

I’m doing this, too.

Posted by Sheree

The Opportunity to Develop a Biblical Conviction April 28, 2009

The passage Carolyn was using in her message is Ephesians 5:15-16, which teaches us that we walk wisely by making tbe best use of time.   Paul also warns about “evil” days that require this kind of wise time management.  Just think about that for a moment.  The New Testament days were evil…just like ours!  Carolyn talked about an aspect of the evil days in which we live as those when biblical femininity is being assaulted.  In her other primary reference, Titus 2:3-5, Carolyn reminded us that Paul outlines womanly conduct that will actually advance the glorious gospel!

What an amazing privilege we have been given, ladies.  What we do day in and day out — on the job, in the home, with our families and in our neighborhoods — gives us the joy of advancing the gospel by our very actions.

This requires understanding the second “deal” we don’t want to miss:  the opportunity to develop a biblical conviction.

You may have heard the words “egalitarian” and “complementarian.”  If you are like I was when I first heard pastors use these terms, you may have thought, “Those are some big words I don’t really need to understand…but I trust my pastors that they’re important. Besides, I believe what the Bible says about roles in the home so I don’t need to fuss over this.”  Over the years, though, I have come to see the critical necessity to dig deep into these concepts.  This has produced a Spirit-born conviction in my heart about the truths verses lies they represent.

Understanding these terms and the resultant differing values they reflect has required that I keep it pretty simple.  Egalitarians (often called Evangelical Feminists) believe the roles between men and women in the home and church are interchangeable.  Complementarians believe that while God values men and women equally, their roles in the home and church complement one another and are not interchangeable.

In her message Carolyn said, “We can’t be merely instinctive or intuitive complementarians but informed complementarians.  We must have convictions, not just beliefs.”  Did you stop and think about what she meant by those statements?

• We have to know what the Bible teaches on these issues; not just that we believe whatever the Bible teaches.
• We can’t just “instinctively” believe that women and men were created by God for differing roles in the home and church.  Instincts can provide the urge to protect our children from harm, but they can’t be the basis of our beliefs about our roles in the home and church.
• Similarly, we can’t just merely intuitively” agree in God’s created design for men and women.  Our intuitions can serve us when we believe a friend or family member may be in an unwholesome relationship or troubling situation, but relying on our intuition about theological truths can be dangerous.
• Beliefs can change, but biblically defined convictions don’t.

The bottom line is this:  We don’t want to believe things just because they “feel” right or because others around us believe them.  We want our beliefs to be informed by an intentional search of God’s word that results in solid convictions.

So what does this have to do with mentoring?  If you are an older woman, it is your responsibility to pass on to younger women the timeless biblical truths about godly womanhood.  In order to do this, you must have a solid and informed biblical grasp of these truths.  As a younger woman, you must recognize your need to not just learn these terms, but to live the truths they prescribe.  Ladies, there is no short cut.  Understanding truth requires the hard work of study, prayer and discussion with those who can help us.

Do you have a settled conviction about what the Bible says about manhood and womanhood?  Can you articulate why you believe what you believe and point to scriptures that have informed your convictions?  If not, perhaps this is a deal you should consider purchasing.  For me, this meant taking nearly a year to slowly digest Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Wayne Grudem and John Piper.  But may I also recommend Carolyn McCulley’s excellent new book Radical Womanhood (pictured at the beginning of this post). It’s readable, winsome and full of real-life application of what it means to be a complementarian.  You can purchase it in our church bookstore or online here.

Posted by Sheree

The Opportunity to Influence Others April 27, 2009

I hope you’ve had a chance to listen to Carolyn’s Five Deals She Won’t Want to Miss message.  (The link was provided on last Friday’s blog post.)  Although this message was to pastor’s wives, the principles Carolyn shared applied to all Christian women who desire to fulfill our Titus 2: 3-5 mandate to first be learners, and to then be trainers.  Both older and younger women are addressed in this passage and in her message.

Quoting J. Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt in their excellent book on church women’s ministry, Carolyn communicated that the “primary task of the women’s ministry is to train women in the biblical principles and practices of womanhood.  This does not mean that biblical womanhood is the only thing that women study, but it does mean that there should be a resolute commitment to weave these principles throughout the entire women’s ministry.”

This has been and remains the desire and commitment of the pastors at Metro Life since its inception nearly 25 years ago.

Scripture provides for us the two most effective ways of seeing women trained in godly womanhood.  First is through teaching.  Seasoned godly women in the church with capable communication skills are often asked by their pastors to provide doctrinally sound instruction to the ladies.  The second is through mentoring.  Who better to help younger women to be or prepare to be godly wives, mothers and homemakers than a seasoned older woman whose own marriage, mothering and domesticity commends her life and example?  Consider the influence of a godly woman who has devoted years to cultivating self-control, purity, kindness and a heart of submission to male leadership (see Titus 2) in the life of a younger woman!

Carolyn’s first “deal” we don’t want to miss is the opportunity to influence others.  As a young wife in the 70′s, like Carolyn I longed for older women in the church to help and train me.  However, I most often had to learn about godly womanhood alongside my peers who were often as inexperienced and clueless as I was!  As our movement has aged, one of the many evidences of God’s grace and provision is that there are actually older women in our churches!  And at nearly 55 I’m now officially one of them.  (Although I still need and value the teaching and mentoring of women more godly and wise than myself like Carolyn!)

Whether you are a few years or a few decades older than the women in your life, we all have the opportunity to influence others in godly femininity.  Ladies, people are watching.  Little girls are watching the way teens dress and interact with their parents.  High schoolers are watching singles navigate the challenges of college, serving in the church and how to handle relationships with guys.  Singles observe young wives and mothers relating to your husband and young children as they wonder if being a Christian woman makes any real difference in marriage and motherhood.  And all of us notice older women in the church who are either experiencing the blessings or consequences of decades of big and small choices that have made them who they are today.

Remember the quote by Charles Bridges about being a luminary — “the source of light and warmth to all within our circle”?  That can be you!  You have the opportunity both to be influenced and to be an influence to others.  To provide a light in the often confusing darkness in our culture where women are told to find significance in things that will someday pass away.

As we continue our mentoring series, please consider the following application to this first “deal”:

1. What woman or two has taught and mentored me in godly womanhood?  (This can be close up or from a distance.)
2. Is there something the Lord would have me do to thank her for her compelling example and influence in my life?
3. For younger women:  Am I intentionally pursuing older women for help, counsel and mentoring?  Do I demonstrate humility, approachability and eagerness to learn?  If not, what has hindered me?
4. For older women:  Am I intentionally pursuing younger women to serve, care for and befriend?  Do I demonstrate availability, warmth and eagerness to give my life away to them?  If not, what has hindered me?

Lord, help me to see the importance of mentoring in my life.  You have clearly designed older and younger women to walk side by side along the path of godly womanhood.  Expose whatever sin or hindrances have affected my thinking and actions, and help me to influence others in ways that promote biblical femininty!  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Carolyn’s Message is Now Available! April 24, 2009

We apologize for the delay in providing the link to Carolyn Mahaney’s message from the recent Sovereign Grace Pastors and Wives Conference.  As you listen, be aware that this teaching was given to pastors’ wives.  However, the principles can apply to all of us, not just pastors’ wives!  We ladies are always looking for a good deal, aren’t we?  In this message, Carolyn (pictured here with her husband, CJ) discusses Five Deals She Won’t Want to Miss.

I will spend next week discussing the message.  In the following week or two our blog team will then comment on some aspects of mentoring from our personal lives.

This series isn’t just for young moms.  It’s for women in every season of life.  So consider a friend who may not regularly visit us, but who might benefit from some heart to heart talk on how relationships with those God has providentially placed in our lives can help spur us on in our pursuit of godly womanhood.

Grab your Bible (and, I would suggest, a pen and paper!) and get ready to hear an inspiring message!  You can access the message by clicking here.

Posted by Sheree

This Just In! April 22, 2009

We know many of you (myself included!) have been eagerly anticipating the link to Carolyn Mahaney’s message from the recent Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastors Conference. Unfortunately, there has been a delay in the messages becoming available but as soon as they are, we will be sure to let you know! In the meantime, if you haven’t yet had a chance to consider Sheree’s questions from Monday – preparing for our upcoming series on mentoring – check them out here.

Mentoring: Titus 2 Ministry in Real Life April 20, 2009

For the next couple of weeks we are going to do a Mentoring Series on our blog.  Sometime tomorrow (Wednesday), we’ll post the link to a message by Carolyn Mahaney from the recent Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastors (and Wives) Conference on the treasured relationships between older and younger women in the church.  After I take some time to to unpack her message and its implications for us, our blog team — now made up of young moms, moms with grown children and grandchildren, and a single gal –  will post our thoughts about mentoring.

As we wait for Carolyn’s message, let’s consider the following:

• What is mentoring?  Take a few minutes to consider your own definition.  Please post your definition as a comment for me to possibly include in some of my upcoming posts.
• Have you ever been mentored?  Would the woman you consider as a current or former mentor know of your appreciation and respect for her?  Perhaps you could take a few minutes to contact her to let her know how her life has impacted your own.
• In what area(s) in your life do you need/desire to be mentored (see Titus 2:3-5 for some suggested areas)?

I’m excited about this series as we continue to seek to grow in biblical relationships!  You will be equipped, challenged and encouraged by Carolyn’s message!

Posted by Sheree

Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross April 17, 2009

Several weeks ago I started reading Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross edited by Nancy Guthrie.  It is a short devotional book with the subtitle Experiencing the Passion and Power of Easter.  The book is comprised  of 25 devotions, each by a different author, both classic and current, such as Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon, John Piper, Jonathan Edwards, C.J. Mahaney and more.  Each meditation is different, but all help us to keep our gaze on the Cross of Christ.  This book has provoked me and caused me to see how little time I really spend reflecting on the cross., but also how it can change my daily life.

This quote from J.C. Ryle is an example “Was he flogged? It was done so that “by his wounds we are healed” (Isa. 53:5).  Was he condemned though innocent?  It was done so that we might be acquitted though guilty.  Did he wear a crown of thorns?  It was done so that we might wear a crown of glory.  Was he stripped of his clothes?  It was done so that we might be clothed in righteousness.  Was he mocked and reviled?  It was done so that we might be honored and blessed.  Was he reckoned a  criminal, and counted among those who have done wrong?  It was done so that we might be reckoned innocent, and declared free from all sin.  Was he declared unable to save himself?  It was so that we might be able to save others to the uttermost.  Did he die at last, and that the most painful and disgraceful death?  It was done so that we might live forevermore, and be exalted to the highest glory.”

Writings like these are causing me to contemplate my Savior’s death and all it means to me.  This book was written for Easter meditations, but it is too good to keep for this short season.  These are things I need to think about deeply all year long.

Jesus, please do keep me near your cross all my days.  Help me to come to a deeper understanding of all you did for me, to experience the passion of your death and resurrection.  Help me to hate my sin more and more, see what you accomplished for me and put my hope in the promise of your resurrection.  Amen

Posted by Elyse

Devotions for a Sacred Marriage April 16, 2009

I wanted to share with you about a book that my husband and I are reading together.  We have benefited greatly in the past from Gary Thomas’, Sacred Marriage, so when we saw he had written a devotional we knew we wanted to read it. 

Now we haven’t quite finished this book, but we have already enjoyed it so much.  It is written with the intention to read it once a week for a year.  It is broken up into 2-3 page devotionals that we read aloud to one another.  They are interesting and easy to read and understand.  But the best part for us is that this book has encouraged great conversations.  Often, the topics that are covered are things that we wouldn’t think to talk about unless that particular situation had come.  This is allowing us to be proactive and to talk about these things when we are not in the middle of them!  These topics include: Being a God-Centered Spouse, Growing Old Together, Regrets, etc.   

One devotion that stood out was one that reminded me that the man I married is not only my husband, but he is a child of God – he is a son of God (little “s”).    Do I think about God being my Father-in-Law?  It was such an interesting thought that had never crossed my mind. 

I would highly recommend this book.  We look forward to this time we spend together each week and it has given us a good plan.  If you choose to read this book, I pray the Lord will use it to encourage and strengthen your marriage as well!

Posted by Stephanie.

Atheism Remix April 15, 2009

You’ve previously met one of the new contributors we’ve added to our blog team, Jennifer.  Today you meet a second.  Jaime is Sheree’s oldest daughter who has been married for 11 years and is the mom of four children ages 7 and under.  (Four adorable children, Sheree adds!)  Jaime’s real-life and transparent posts will regularly allow you to peek into her life as a busy wife, mom and homemaker.  But, as you’ll see today, she also has a love of biblical truth that motivates her to fit reading some meaty stuff into her life.  Welcome, Jaime!

I was attracted to Atheism Remix during the time Metro was going through the Proclaim series. (For those of you who are not at Metro, Proclaim is an evangelism training seminar our church had been doing in our small groups.) I decided to take a break from the books I would normally read (parenthood, marriage, etc.) and read something that would challenge me in a different way.

Atheism Remix, by R. Albert Mohler Jr., is a small, hardback book that is fairly short. It is 108 pages, but not necessarily an “easy” read. At least not for me and what I am used to.

There are only four chapters in the book.

In the first chapter, Mohler gives a history of what he calls “New Atheism”. He details the history behind modern atheists and how the New Atheists are different than the ones we have heard of in the past. In the second chapter he introduces the “Four Horsemen of the New Atheist Apocalypse.” He writes background information about them and tells why they have the greatest contribution to the rise of the New Atheists. The third chapter is about the defense of theism and the biblical response to atheism. The final chapter talks about the increasing challenge the New Atheists will bring to Christianity and how we must keep this in mind when we think about the future of Christianity. Mohler also states in the book that one of the main differences between the New Atheists, and atheists of the past, is that the new ones want to evangelize their ideology.

After reading Mohler’s book, I can’t help but have concerns for my children’s future and what they will come against in the next generation. One of the saddest things I read was the following:

“The New Atheists have begun to question the right of parents to inculcate belief in their own children. The accusation, most specifically from Dawkins, is that this is a form of child abuse.”   Wow.  I wish I had room to elaborate on this section of the book.

The book has definitely further envisioned me to study and become more knowledgeable about Christian theism. I want to be able to better articulate and defend my Christian faith, plus be able to help my children have a deep and knowledgeable faith as they grow older.

Here is a final quote about which to think:

“ Then, as now, the task is to articulate, communicate, and defend the Christian faith with intellectual integrity and evangelistic urgency. We should not assume that this task will be easy, and we must also refuse to withdraw from public debate and private conversation in light of this new challenge.”

Posted by Jaime

Our God April 14, 2009

Love…I often throw the word “love” around so cavalierly:

• I love Starbucks.
• I love this shirt I got on sale.
• I love this weather.
• I love texting.

I believe we have been, however subtly, influenced by our culture’s redefining “love.” It has so diffused the power that is contained in the true definition of this word that it has, I think, become very difficult for us to comprehend the love of God. It has become an ordinary, routine thought that is quite opposite His nature – for He is LOVE. And that is anything BUT ordinary or routine!

In reading the first chapter of Octavius Winslow’s Our God, I was so impacted by how he breaks down three words, “God is love (I John 4:16).” He breathtakingly describes love’s fundamental nature as found in God:

“Love is so completely the essence of God that it shines out in every perfection of His nature and is exhibited in every act of his administration. He is nothing and can do nothing foreign to Himself…And were not God’s perfections thus modified and softened by love – were they not led on by this commanding perfection of His nature – each one, and all combined would be terribly against us. His wisdom would baffle us, His power would crush us, His holiness would terrify us, His justice would condemn us…” (p. 4)

Wow. I read that and am very grateful that God is love. But beyond this, do I know how God loves ME? How does this nature of His help me to interpret the circumstances in my life? Because honestly, not everything I experience “feels” loving. Not everything I hear from others “sounds” like a loving God. However, in discussing God’s love in His dealings with people, Winslow explains:

“He is the God of love and He cannot change. He who smiles today and frowns tomorrow – who kisses now and smites us later – is the same tender, faithful Father whose love knows no change and whose faithfulness never fails. When the sorrow is past and the storm subsides, and in calmer moments we review all the way that He has led us, to what conclusion can we come but that, through it all, true to His nature and faithful to His promises, he was the God of love?…Into this ocean of divine love, my reader, let your heart plunge, just as it is. Take all its sin, sorrow, and weariness to no other purifying, comforting source but the shoreless, soundless sea of the love of God in Christ Jesus…Afflictions will be revealed to be disguised blessings; trials, proofs of divine faithfulness; clouds, chariots paved with love and penciled with light, in which the Savior comes to us.” (pp. 14-15)

And my response to this incredible revelation of the Gospel at work in all of creation? It should be to love Him more in return! And yet Winslow challenges us to prize it above my “choicest blessing.” Which caused me to wonder…do I prize the Gospel? Do I prize it above my own happiness? Do I prize His love – which is the very core of the Gospel – above my desire for a good marriage, lots of friends, obedient children or getting that promotion at work? Having read this chapter, I am so grateful for a deeper desire and understanding of what this should look like and am confident that (through His love) He will enable me to grow in prizing this above all else in my life.

Lord Jesus, thank you for your love! Thank you that your love for me is never changing, constant and good. Please help me to be aware of your love in all the circumstances in my life that you have brought me to. And help me to prize the Gospel – your love for me – above all else in my life. I do not deserve this love but am overwhelmed that I am a recipient of its saving power. Amen

Posted by Jennifer