How Will We Be Remembered? August 29, 2008

Gary Thomas wrote a devotional book for parents called, “Devotions for Sacred Parenting.” The following excerpt from this book is another good reminder as to what is really important, which we can so easily forget amidst the daily and often mundane tasks of motherhood. Take some time with me today to reflect and remember the truth that we will be remembered by our children. How we are remembered is largely up to us and the decisions we make on a daily basis.

“How many magazine articles have asked celebrities what they’d like written on their tombstones? Too many to count, that’s for sure. But I could care less what someone carves in stone; I’m far more concerned about what gets carved on the hearts of my children.

Sometimes I think it helps to take a step back and remind ourselves that our infants won’t always be babies; our toddlers won’t always be elementary students; our teens won’t always be adolescents. We are influencing future adults, some of whom will remember their parents with casual indifference, some with malicious conflict, and some with passionate gratitude and love…..

The next time you pick up yet another toy, wash yet another dinner plate or sippy cup, show up for yet another soccer or volleyball game, and you feel tempted to think, “Is this really worth it?” remember that you’re going to be remembered. You’re laying down an impact that can be so profound that, even if you live to be a hundred years old, your kids won’t want to let you go……

In most cases, our children are going to grow up and we’re going to die. They will then live with memories of our involvement or our absence, our encouragement or our malice, our support or our contempt. As we hold that little five-year-old who just scraped her knee, I guess the question we could ask ourselves is this: What do I want her to be thinking fifty years from now when I’m the one near death and receiving medical care-and she’s the one holding my hand to comfort me?”

Devotions for Sacred Parenting, pp. 111-113

Posted by Elyse

Celebration Preparation August 28, 2008

Today I thought it would serve you to offer simple tips to prepare your children for this weekend’s Celebration Conference South. Expectations can soar as we prepare to go away and gather with friends and family from across the state. However, we must remember that our children are still very dependent on the familiar routine, especially the young ones. A conference like this can cause them even more temptations to sin requiring extra effort in consistent, loving discipline. Here are a few tips that hopefully, will help:

• Pray with your children each day leading up to the conference, so they are included in anticipating what God will do.
• Pack favorite items and a few surprise treats from the Dollar Store.
• Try to keep them on as much of their normal schedule as possible, especially afternoon naps. This may require that you or your husband miss a favorite activity or two, but it will enable you to enjoy the corporate meetings more as your children won’t be as exhausted when nighttime comes around.
• Resist the temptation for self-pity – wishing that you could go and do like you used to – this will only increase your temptation to be easily angered by your children’s actions.
• Don’t underestimate how much weekends like this affect your child’s growth in godliness. Our grown children have many fond memories of Celebrations where God met them in special ways. Children’s ministry provides great opportunities for them to grow in their knowledge and love for our Savior. Include in your prayer time – praying for those who will be serving in your children’s classes.
• Relax, take lots of pictures, and enjoy God’s gift of children to you!

The Hard Work of Being a Mom August 27, 2008

Wow! I don’t know about you, but I was challenged and encouraged by each of Sheree’s posts over the last couple of weeks. It is hard to choose one thing to write about. So I won’t! Ha! But here are a few things that really stood out to me and are in step with what the Lord is showing me right now:

• Doing hard things…being a Mom is hard work! (Has anyone noticed that?) But God has called us to this life, and He will help us! Right now, one of the “hard things” in my life is being consistent in training and disciplining my children – one child in particular! It is not an easy task, and I have found myself growing weary at times. It would be much more convenient to either “let things slide” or “get on to him” about it, without really dealing with the issues of his heart – and mine! Which brings me to my next point.
• I need to remember the Gospel in my daily life and not neglect the important things. How easy it is to be sidetracked by “life” and not take the time to cultivate my relationship with the Savior. (Which by the way, will help me in the above struggles and give me the strength I need to press on and fight the good fight!) That is just a quick glance at what the Lord pointed out to me.
• I can’t forget one more, being reminded that each day with them is precious and that they will be grown and married before I know it…thanks for making me cry, Sheree!
• Oh and then the reminder that loving their Daddy is something that is such a blessing to them – OH MY! SO GOOD!!

Lord…I need Your help to apply these things in my daily life! Help me to be faithful with my time with You, so that I can draw from Your grace and strength to do the things You have called me to do. I can’t do this in my own strength…I have tried and failed. But You have promised to help me…so I come to You asking for help! Thank You…In Your Name I pray…Amen.

Posted by Stephanie.

Expectations August 26, 2008

Sheree’s post on expectations really got me thinking. A lot. The more I thought about it the more I was challenged. It can be an easy thing to brush aside and justify though, can’t it?

It is very easy for me to make excuses for my children when they are tired, when we are trying to get them ready for bed and it seems to be taking forever.  When you are trying to go out for the evening with your husband and your toddler throws a temper tantrum, have you ever said, “oh, it’s just past their bedtime?”  What about when you haven’t communicated clearly letting your children know what is expected of them, such as obeying the first time, and then get angry when you have to ask them to do something repeatedly?

Are your expectations for your each of your children different? A very kind and dear friend asked me last year why I didn’t have the same expectation for Brianna who had just turned 4 as I did for Jacob who was 6 1/2? I thought to myself, well Jacob’s older I should expect more of him. While that can be the case sometimes, shouldn’t I expect and train all my children, no matter how old they are to obey the first time and be respectful? Girls, boys, toddlers, school aged children, even grown-ups, God’s commands to us are still the same. This is a very real scenario in our house right now as we have a two year old, and I am reminded of how little I expect of him at times.

Can I suggest that we all take some time to think about this? And if we are really brave, ask someone close about these things, we may be really surprised what we hear!

Lord God, thank you for Your gentle reminder that even in my parenting it is so easy to slip into being a “nominal mommy.”  I pray that You would continue to convict me in areas where I am being complacent and not living out what You have called and commanded me to in Your word.  Lord, please forgive me for the times where I have been lazy and then justified that laziness.  O God, I cry out to You for Your mercy and Your strength in this task that is before me.  In Jesus’ Name.  Amen.

Posted by Taraleigh

My Own Musings from the Back Nine! August 25, 2008

Haven’t you enjoyed Sheree’s “musings”?  This week the rest of the blog team will post how her thoughts have convicted and/or encouraged us.  We have loved reading your comments!   Today Debi shares some musings of her own…

This September 16th is the 30th anniversary of when Tom proposed to me.  Although 30 years is a long time – most of you probably weren’t born yet, I still anticipate this date on my calendar.  We have always enjoyed celebrating all of our special dates – our first official date, his proposal of marriage and of course, our wedding anniversary.

Sheree’s excellent post The Plaque On My Sister’s Wall reminded me that I am one of those moms who always found it easier to love and serve my husband than I did to love and serve my children.   There are many reasons this was true, some were good, and some I had to repent of. But now that Tom and I are officially “growing old” together, I am extremely grateful.

My husband from the day we were married continually stressed the importance of maintaining our love and affection for each other.  When our son came along, not only did I have Tom to love, but now I had a precious baby too.  In fact, our baby birth announcements stated, “Thank You, Lord, for giving our love life!”  How true this was.

Two more times God blessed us with children, daughters, and our love and life grew richer and fuller.

Was it easy making our marriage a priority?  Sometimes the answer was yes, but sadly many times it was a loud NO.  There were times when I was too tired to think about anyone, but my need for more sleep.  There were also times when self-pity and jealousy would crowd in on my thoughts toward Tom.  Thoughts such as, “you always get to go out to lunch without having to share your french fries with dirty fingers!”  Or, “if you had been doing what I’ve been doing all day you wouldn’t feel like being romantic either!”  These memories grieve me because my husband has loved me far more unselfishly than I ever have him!  He usually thinks the best of me – something I don’t deserve, and he strives to help out whenever I’m going through challenging circumstances or schedules.

Like Sheree, I would like to encourage you young moms by stirring up your love for your husbands.  When was the last time that you looked at your husband?  I mean really looked at him purposefully remembering all the things that caused you to fall in love with him in the first place?  Sheree encouraged you last week to go into your children’s rooms while they were sleeping and look at how they’ve grown and cherish this moment in time, because all too soon they will be gone.   The good news is that if you cultivate year after year your love for your husband, his arms will be there to hold you when your last child walks out the door.

We have watched two of our children do just that, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, BUT the story doesn’t end there!  I now have two beautiful granddaughters, and a new son and a new daughter (in laws) to love!  My life is not sad; it’s not even empty.  In fact I’m busier now than I was when all my children were at home, and I’m loving my life with my husband!  Tonight is our weekly date night, but I have to go out of town with my Mom.  I will miss sharing our night together, but I’m grateful that God has graced us to make the most of the love He’s given us.  It does, after all, reflect God’s passion and love for us – His church.

So, why not plan a special surprise for your husband tonight?  It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but thoughtful.   You are making memories with him today that you both will fondly remember and celebrate when he is the only that calls your house, home.

Saving the Most Important for Last August 22, 2008

This is my last “musings” post.  And I’ve saved my most weighty concerns for moms of young children for last.  Simply put, I carry the same concern for you that my Granny had for me.  “Sheree, “ she would say as she tenderly grasped my hand, “don’t forget Jesus.” 

I was in my 20’s and she was in her 80’s and suffering from growing senility.  But when Granny talked you listened.  I wish I had listened more.

Self-sufficiency is a common temptation for all of us, but can be most prevalent during the hectic years of young motherhood.  I don’t have to detail all the reasons why daily devotions, worship and prayer are too often set aside in the life of the busy mom.  All too often I, too,  succumbed to the pride and independence that plagues many moms with small children.  Perhaps like I did, you think you don’t have time for devotions…or will “get to it” when the kids are napping or go down for the night. 

When personal time with the Lord becomes an option in our daily schedule, we are already steeped in self-sufficiency.  Whether you are expecting your first baby or are the busy mom of multiple children, you (like me!) need the strength, wisdom, love and counsel of God to handle the humanly overwhelming charge to raise children to know and serve their Savior.  This task is beyond any woman’s ability to successfully perform!  Without consistent dependence on the One who gave us these “assignments” (or heritage, see Psalm 127:3), we will fall desperately short of our high and holy calling.

Daily devotions won’t guarantee that you are putting to death the pride and self-sufficiency that tempts you to think you can be a faithful and godly mother, but it certainly helps!  The grace that is promised to the humble isn’t without cost.  It will cost you less time doing some of the things you love:  sleep; time connecting with friends (on the computer or phone); tv; reading for pleasure or information; hobbies; or getting going on your morning chores.

But believe me - when your children are teens or young adults and you reflect back on the front nine you won’t regret spending less time on these things.  The wisdom, insight, discernment, perseverance, patience and strength you will need then to help them through the often challenging waters of adolescence will require that you cultivate deep trust and dependence on the Lord now. 

And even more precious…you will know and love Him more with every sacrifice you make today to make your relationship with the Savior the priority that His electing grace deserves.

Posted by Sheree

The Plaque on My Sister’s Wall August 21, 2008

When I was a teenager there was a plaque on my married sister’s wall that said, “The best thing a Mommy can do for her kids is to love their Daddy.”  My sister had lots of stuff on her walls that I don’t remember.  So why did this one stick in my adolescent mind?

Probably because God knew that once I became a mom I would need to remember this.

I enjoy a wonderful relationship with My Big Girls.  (This is my affectionate name for the married girls in our family:  my daughter Jaime, and the girls that said yes to my sons – Rachel, Rebekah and Lauren.)  I’m greatly humbled by the warmth and closeness of our friendships.  We talk about a lot of stuff, but the thing I most feel the responsibility to remind them of is the importance of loving and orienting their lives toward their husbands.

My motive is 2-fold:  First, because it’s the first in Paul’s list of things for Timothy to make sure the younger women learned from the older women in the church (Titus 2:4).  And second, because I think my big girls are like me and many women I know: more prone to be lovers of their children than lovers of their husbands.

What do I mean by that?  Over the years I’ve surmised that there are 2 basic “types” of women.  Those who find it easier to love and care for their children – and those who find it easier to love and care for their husband.  To one group, tenderly caring for their kids comes quite naturally, while to the other, motherhood requires more intentionality than being a wife.  Which one are you?

·        When you go somewhere alone, do you more often think, “Oh, the kids would love this!” or “I wish my husband was here to share this with me”?

·        When there’s extra money in the budget, do you tend to think of things you can do/purchase/bless your husband or kids?

·        Do you find yourself being more critical or fault-finding with your husband or your children? 

·        When you pray, who comes to mind first:  him or the kids?

·        When chatting with a friend, who do you most often find the conversation turning to?

·        When you hear about a new book, are you most jazzed when it’s one about parenting or about marriage?

When Benny and I were younger, people would sometimes seek us out for counsel about parenting.  I remember asking him one time:  “Honey, do you think it’s weird that people often want our advice about parenting, but not about marriage?”  As we talked, we realized that though we loved each other deeply, our affections for growth in godliness were more focused on our parenting than on our marriage.  This was in large part my fault.  My longing to be a godly mother who raised children with passion for Him and His church had become more of my focus than loving, serving and being a suitable helper to the man God had given me to.

Mom, if you are married, your first calling in life is as a wife.  When God declared that it was not good for man to be alone, He could have provided him with an immediate family.  Rather, He gave him a wife who would come alongside him as his companion, lover, inspiration and helper.  All too soon the kids will be gone.  But by God’s sustaining and sanctifying grace the two of you will have grown old together.

 You can’t believe how much you have to look forward to!  The back nine has some amazing benefits and surprises as you resist the common temptation to regularly give the love, thoughtfulness, creativity, service and energy that’s leftover from the kids to your husband. 

Posted by Sheree

Change Of Plans August 20, 2008

Our blog team convinced Sheree to continue her “Musing from the Back Nine” series.  She will keep posting this week and the team will follow up with comments next week.

One month from today is my Joey’s wedding day.  Shortly after his birth over 22 years ago, we nick named him our “Joy Boy.”  He was one of those babies who didn’t just smile with his mouth, but also with his eyes.  His smile has characterized him since then.  As a mom, you know how your heart squeezes sometimes when you see your baby smile?  And how each time that happens it seems like your already intense love grows?

I often still feel that squeeze when Joey smiles.

Over the past year I’ve seen his eye-twinkling smile more than ever.  Lauren lights up his eyes more than I ever did.  And that’s the way it should be.

A few years ago I spoke to our ladies on Motherhood and the Brevity of Life.  What was stirring in my heart then continues to grow.  I am agreeing more and more with Moses in Psalm 90:

“You sweep them away as with a flood, they are like a dream, like grass is renewed in the morning; in the morning, it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers” (vs 5-6).

As we discussed last week, godly motherhood requires that you be willing to Do Hard Things…and then keep doing them.  It’s wearisome to train, discipline, teach, care for, feed and chase down little ones.  There are times when a day feels a week long when sickness, stubbornness or selfishness (in you or the kids) requires more perseverance than you feel able to muster.

But soon you’ll be shopping for a dress to wear to their wedding.  Please don’t wish these days and weeks and years away.  When you hear yourself thinking, “How nice it will be when they start…[fill in the blank]”…remember that when you get on the back nine you will think of even the fullest and most challenging days fondly.  It’s that same divine forgetfulness that quickly eases the painful memory of childbirth when you’re rocking your sleeping newborn.

Even if they’re asleep right now…please go and give your little ones a kiss.  Linger for a minute and really look at them.  Notice how much longer their little legs are getting and remember how tiny their feet were the first time you saw them.  Soon you’ll only remember what their little voice sounds like today when you watch home videos…

Posted by Sheree

More on Sheree’s Post from Friday August 19, 2008

Last week I shared my Musings from the Back Nine. On Friday I talked about a sermon by a pastor and author who died in the early 1900’s.

Whenever we read it’s important that we match what is being communicated to God’s word. Only it is infallible and completely true! The sermon I cited is full of inspiring, convicting and helpful truths about godly womanhood from which I have gleaned help. But there is one principle in the article with which we at Metro Moms would like to humbly disagree.

We aren’t questioning the heart or motive of this godly man. We realize that cultural differences 100 years ago may have effected his words. And we aren’t suggesting that our interpretation of some of his comments are necessarily accurate. But simply put, we would believe that in addition to a wife’s responsibilities as articulately outlined in this article, we have the added biblical privilege and responsibility to speak the truth in love to our husbands by providing respectful and honest correction when appropriate.

The author speaks of a wife’s “wise counsel” but warns against “perpetual preaching and lecturing.” What a wise warning! His admonition to resist the temptation to us to “seek sympathy by telling [our] trials to some intimate friends” is also an often warranted caution against the sin of slandering our husbands by commiserating with friends about sin patterns in our men’s lives. Yet his advice to “share her secret of unhappiness with none but her Master” is not always the biblical thing to do. There are times when it is right and redemptive for us to bring a wise friend or pastor and his wife into our marital challenges.

What does this look like? When do we overlook sin in our husband’s life and when do we bring it up to a wise and trusted friend or pastor? How does the godly wife provide respectful biblical correction to her husband? What can happen when we wrongly interpret God’s word and either refuse to correct our husbands…or do so with pride and disrespect?

Carolyn Mahaney provides wise counsel and practical application for us in her excellent message Watch Your Man. This message may change your life and your marriage. You can find it HERE. Please take the time to listen to and apply it! Benny has not only listened to it himself, but has asked numerous other men to do so as well. (And I can’t remember a time when my husband sent a message by a pastor’s wife out to other men as a listening assignment!)

Please listen all the way through the messages to the personal testimonies at the end. You won’t want to miss the humility, candor and practical insights you will hear from two godly wives who share their weaknesses in watching their men.

In the fall, we plan do a series on how to apply this important teaching to your life and marriage.

Posted by Sheree

Good Morning! August 18, 2008

This morning I wanted to share with you a tremendous resource for a short daily devotion; It’s called “Grace Gems“, and you can sign up to have a short reading sent to you via e-mail.   Following is today’s that I pray will greatly encourage as you begin another week of laying your life down for your family.  

Our “thorn”

(J. R. Miller, “The Building of Character” 1894)

“Lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.” 2 Corinthians 12:7

Paul tells us that his “thorn” was given to him–to keep him humble, and save him from spiritual peril. Without it, he would have been exalted above measure and would have lost his spirituality. We do not know how much of his deep insight into the things of God, and his power in service for his Master–Paul owed to this torturing “thorn”. It seemed to hinder him, and it caused him incessant suffering–but it detained him in the low valley of humility, made him ever conscious of his own weakness and insufficiency, and thus kept him near to Christ whose home is with the humble.

There are few people who have not
some “thorn” rankling in their flesh–
In one it is an infirmity of speech;
in another an infirmity of sight;
in another an infirmity of hearing.
Or it may be lameness;
or a slow but incurable disease;
or constitutional timidity,
or excessive nervousness;
or a disfiguring bodily deformity;
or an infirmity of temper.
Or it may be in one’s home–which
is cold, unloving, and uncongenial;
or it may be some moral failure;
or it may be a bitter personal disappointment
through untrue friendship or unrequited love.

Who has not his “thorn”?

We should never forget that in one sense, our “thorn” is a “messenger of Satan,” who desires by it–to hurt our life, to mar our peace, to spoil the divine beauty in us, and to break our communion with Christ.

On the other hand, however, Christ Himself has a loving design in our “thorn.” He wants it to be a blessing to us. He would have it keep us humble–and save us from becoming vain. Or He means it to soften our hearts–and make us more gentle. He would have the uncongenial things in our environment to discipline us into heavenly-mindedness, give us greater self-control, and help us to keep our hearts loving and sweet–amid harshness and unlovingness. He would have our pain teach us endurance and patience; and our sorrow and loss teach us faith.

Thus, our “thorn” may either be a choice blessing to us–or it may do us irreparable harm. If we allow it to fret us; if we chafe, resist, and complain; if we lose faith and lose heart–it will spoil our life! But if we accept it in the faith that in its ugly burden–it has a blessing for us; if we endure it patiently, submissively, unmurmuringly; if we seek grace to keep our heart gentle and true amid all the trial, temptation, and suffering it causes–it will work good for us, and out of its bitterness–will come sweet

Posted by Debi