Focusing On The Gospel in Hardship May 30, 2008

We have been doing a series on caring for sick children. The post you are about the read could be one of the most inspiring few paragraphs you will ever read as a mother. Our friend Alisha’s dear toddler was very recently diagnosed with cancer. As you read, please notice the compelling combination of honesty and humility. We trust you will join us in amazement at the sustaining grace of God in Alisha’s life. Read this…and perhaps print it for future reference or for a friend who is mothering a child through serious illness. The power of the gospel can truly invade every area of our lives! Praise be to God.

My two-year old daughter, Sarah, was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma, stage 4 (cancer in the head and lungs). Our lives changed overnight. Through this, God has taught me about faith, trust, sovereignty, grace, and the power of the Word of God to sustain, comfort, and uphold me. However, as of late, God is teaching me the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection. We call it the Gospel or Good News. This Good News has never been as clear as it is now.

Were you aware that it is the Gospel that makes us whole? Did you realize that without the Gospel we would all be destined to death because of our sin? Did you know that without Jesus’ stripes, we could not be healed?

            I have come to realize that the Gospel enables miracles to happen in our lives everyday. Sarah’s care had become too heavy a burden. My knees felt like they would buckle under the weight. Anger welled up in my spirit, and I felt betrayed by the God I loved. That feeling was more than I could carry. I cried out to God to forgive me and to give me perspective. Mentally, I knew that I was wrong to be angry with God, and I knew that if I were thinking clearly, I would see the truths of the Bible in my life.

One day I was driving and passed by a sign that said, “You can have a miracle today.” I thought about it and agreed. At that point God flooded me with joy and faith and Biblical perspective. I had never thought about forgiveness and sanctification as a miracle, but it is; it is a supernatural intervention! That miracle would not be possible without the Gospel.

            In addition to the forgiveness of sin, I also understood the amazing peace that we have because we have been made right with God. Sarah, assuming that she trusts Jesus one day, will be made whole and well. It might not happen in this life, but it will happen.

            The trial that Sarah is going through right now is light and momentary when compared to eternity.

            We have not been forsaken. When our children are sick, and we are in the trenches caring for them, we have the Gospel. We have access to the Throne. We have a God that cares enough to make a way for us to be with Him forever. In light of this wonderful news, the best thing that I have learned is to focus on the Gospel and allow everything else to fade.

Thank you, Alisha, we will continue to pray for Sarah’s healing.

God’s Faithfulness May 29, 2008

As I have been thinking about how God led us through Caleb’s medical issues, the one thing that marks that time is God’s faithfulness to us. I will get to that in a minute, but first let me share about my struggle during that time…

I would not have considered myself a fearful person, but when I was told that my 9 month old son had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid in his brain) and that he needed surgery very soon to place a shunt in his head – I was stricken with fear. This was something out of my control – I felt helpless – I couldn’t make him better. At night, I would lie awake thinking through all the “what-ifs” of the situation. I was afraid of losing him. The Lord used that time to reveal to me that truly my child is not my own. But He also taught me about trust in a new way. It is one thing to trust God for your own life, but it is a whole new ball-game when it comes to trusting Him for your child. (This also came at the end of a very difficult year of situations that were teaching us about trusting God, even when we didn’t understand.)

Eventually, I realized that my worrying wasn’t helping! God was obviously in control – He allowed the problem to be caught by a doctor (whom I didn’t care for!) much earlier than it should have been detected – He allowed one of the nation’s top Hydrocephalus practices to be right here in Orlando, where Caleb got incredible care – He gave us grace for each day. So as I would catch myself worrying, I had to remind myself of what God was actually doing and how He was caring for us. I almost had to preach to myself! But the Lord was so kind to us, and in the midst of all that we didn’t understand, we were reminded once again that our God is FAITHFUL! He knew the situation and had a plan for it long before Caleb was even born. How that would encourage my soul!

Another way I see His faithfulness (as I look back) is how we had been prepared through that for other medical issues that would arise – another surgery for Caleb and then a hospital stay (and minor surgery) for Alec when he was about 9 months old. During Alec’s ordeal, I was at the hospital alone for most of the time (everyone I knew was at Celebration!) Thankfully, that was a short-lived illness. But the Lord used what He had taught me to give me peace, grace and strength for that time.

Although I wouldn’t want to have to go through those days again, I know that the Lord used them to teach me more about Himself. I learned about trusting Him in a whole new way – and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

Caleb is now a very healthy 7 year old that has little evidence of a condition that could have been life-threatening. Each time his annual check-up rolls around, I am freshly reminded of how grateful I am for the work God did, not only in Caleb’s body, but also in my heart!

Posted by Stephanie

Beyond Any Shadow of a Doubt May 28, 2008

As we have been doing this series on caring for sick children, so many things have gone through my mind. For the last 14 years, I have gone through various seasons of caring for my very ill children. I found out my first daughter had serious health issues when I was 12 weeks pregnant. Sarah was born prematurely at 29 weeks and as a result of that and her other major health issues, was in the neonatal unit of the hospital for 4 months. Much of that time we did not know whether she would survive, but she finally came home. God in His providence only allowed me to have her for another 2 months before He took her home to be with Him.

The next major illness I faced was when my next daughter Hope was born. After her birth the doctors discovered that she had a condition which could cause problems later on. They monitored her closely through MRI’s and at one year we found out that she would have to have open spinal surgery. The surgery was successful, but then we faced many weeks of severe nerve damage which we had no answers or assurance of healing. God in His mercy completely healed her, and she has had no recurrences.

Next, the Lord gave us Emmalee. After almost losing her at 18 weeks in my pregnancy, I spent the next 4 months on complete, flat-on-my-back bed-rest. She was born at 32 weeks. She had to stay in the neonatal for 2 1/2 weeks. Thankfully, miraculously, she has had no complications from her difficult entry into this world.

It would take me too long to name all the other illnesses and out-of-ordinary health issues we have faced and continue to deal with our children. Many times I have wondered, why Lord? Why is it always my children? Anything else would seem easier, any other kind of suffering would be more welcome. Yet, He has continued to allow me to face my worse fears and has shown me His faithfulness in ways I never imagined possible.

When I think back over these times and wonder how I walked through this, I am always freshly aware of His active Presence in my life. Never was He more real to me than when I was walking through those times. Never was His Word more alive. Never did I hear Him speak to me more clearly. There was not a prayer He did not answer, even when the answers were not the ones I wanted to hear. I remember so clearly reading His Word and hearing His voice speaking to me comfort and hope and peace. Yes, I struggled and yes, I grieved, but I know He never left my side. Nothing was impossible for Him and all I had to do was trust Him and have faith. And at those times when my faith would begin to fail, He always brought someone to me to lift my weary arms and have the faith I could not find for the moment.

For reasons I do know, in His loving Providence, He has allowed me walk through the things that we as mothers fear more than anything else. Yet, even today I could not imagine having to walk through that again. But I do know that whatever the future holds that He will be with me and that all that happens truly is for my good and His glory. He never did and never will forsake me, and He will be there not only to walk with me, but to carry me through those desperate times.

Most of you will never face these kinds of trials, but some of you may be encountering them right now or in the future. To you I want to say that I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that God will be faithful to you. I know because He did it for me. Press into Him like you never have before. Whatever the future holds He will be there with you and will give you all the grace you need walk through it and to bring glory and honor to Him.

Posted by Elyse 

The Air That I Breathe May 27, 2008

Last week we talked about how many times when we are caring for a sick member in our family it can reveal the sin of selfishness in our hearts. Today I want to share about how to battle fear in those situations that turn out to be more than just a simple cold.

As a mom there are bound to be many many opportunities to fear. What echoes in your heart when you are at the doctor’s office and your pediatrician says, “I am not really liking what I see here, I think we need to run a couple of tests to see what is wrong.” What thoughts are running through your mind as you drive your little one to the ER with a very high fever in the middle of the night, and they just can’t keep anything down? Do you struggle with fear in between the first couple of OB visits when you haven’t felt the baby move yet?

I haven’t been a mother that long, yet I have struggled with each of these situations. The most difficult by far though was when Joseph surprised us by coming eight weeks early. Still in shock from his early birth and all that went along with it, we definitely were not prepared for what followed. He was making pretty good progress so when he was five days old the nurses went to remove the IV from his belly button. As they were removing the tiny plastic tube from his artery a small piece was left in. I remember the feeling as I received the news ~ a small surgery should remove it but they weren’t able to do this. They were going to have to schedule another more invasive surgery the next morning, it was very important that the piece didn’t travel towards his heart. I was gripped by fear at that moment. Instead of taking my thoughts captive, the “what ifs” came flying. Through the night I was literally sick to my stomach, but the Lord was at work in my heart. I couldn’t remember the whole verse but there were the thoughts of “the Lord did not give me a spirit of fear, the Lord God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I will never forget watching him being wheeled away to surgery and again being so so fragile. But deep in my soul I knew that even though I couldn’t care for my son during those moments, I could pray for him and know that God held his future in the palm of His hands and that He was caring for me as well. This trial made it so clear that I am not in control, that I am dependent on God for the air I breathe just like Joseph was dependent for air during the first few weeks of his life.

Hebrews 13:6

So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear;
what can man do to me?”

Posted by Taraleigh

Memorial Day May 26, 2008

We remember with gratefulness and tears.  Thank you, Father, for the brave soldiers who have willingly sacrificed their lives to secure our freedom.  As we celebrate as families this Memorial Day help us to instill in our children the importance of this day.  In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!

” Pay to all what is owed to them:…respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”  Romans 13:7

Favorite Memories from Childhood May 23, 2008

This Friday we would love to share some of our favorite memories from our childhood when our mothers took care of us.

Debi’s favorite memory of when she was sick was being able to stay home from school and watch reruns of The Andy Griffith Show. Her mom always made her Cream of Wheat which is such a fond memory.  Debi carried on this tradition with her own family and still keeps some in her pantry for unexpected illnesses.

Taraleigh’s favorite memory was being able to stay in her pj’s all day and eat lots and lots of popsicles. Even in college when she was sick she would go to the store for popsicles.

What are some of your favorite memories? Was it getting all your blankets and getting to take a nap on the couch and watch your favorite TV show? Or was there something else special that your mom did to make you feel better? We invite you to post a comment with your favorite memory.

Have a great weekend!!!

Sick-day Solutions May 22, 2008

Sometimes it seems as if my children are continually ill.  Most of the time it isn’t anything serious, just your common childhood illnesses.  Yet the interruptions to our days and schedules seem to continue on and on.  Many times I find myself resenting these interruptions because they mess up my plans.  I must admit that most of the time I don’t try to still make these times special for my children and let them know just how much I love them.  So, I have found some ideas from others to help make them more comfortable and pass the time more joyfully for all of us.  Hopefully the next time one of my children is ill (which I am sure will be soon) I will remember to try some of these out and that they will be helpful to you as well.  If you have any other ideas, please comment to let us know.

Sick- Day Solutions

1.)  We collect small toys and save them for sick days — my little girl likes doll clothes; my little boy small action men, frogs, animals. We also get books, crayons, pens and make sick-day gift packs. (The dollar stores are great resources for this.)

2.)  When children have a cold, they are often chilly and have body aches. I find it helpful to put their bathrobes in the clothes dryer for 5 or 10 minutes. The robe comes out very warm and snugly and gives the child comfort and relief from the chills.

3.)  We have Spanish tile on our dining room floor. On rainy days or when my children are “under the weather,” I give my children a bucket of sidewalk chalk. They spend hours drawing on the tiles and even playing hopscotch, and clean-up is a breeze…just a wet mop!

4.)  I prepare a special sick-day tea tray for them with a small tea pot, sugar cubes, milk for cream, teacup with small spoon, and a favorite herbal tea.   I usually also include toast or crackers on, plus napkins and a walkie-talkie for communication.  I have seen this special tray make even the sickest child smile. There is something magical about the comfort the special tea tray brings.

5.)  I put my child’s pillowcase in the refrigerator for a few minutes; it’s refreshing, cooling, and not messy like a wet washcloth.

6.)  When my child is home sick from school, I always make him a big fort in the living room, move all the pillows off the couch and make ceilings in the fort with blankets. I bring his pillows out from his bedroom and let him get comfy cozy on the floor with lots of blankets and watch his favorite movies. 

Posted by Elyse

Dying to Self May 21, 2008

Wow!  I have had many similar experiences that Debi described yesterday in her post.  All to often when my husband is sick, that is where my greatest struggle is to show compassion.  About a year ago the Lord began to convict me of my attitude whenever my husband was sick.  I struggled with thoughts such as “Why is it when he is sick he can just lay around and not do anything, but when I am sick I still have to take care of everything!” or “When I am sick other people are sick and no one takes care of me!”  Well, its obvious that I was lacking compassion and not lacking in my elevated view of myself and what I deserved.

SIDE NOTE:  Its so interesting to me how blind we are to sin in the moment, I mean as the conviction was coming I was so unaware I didn’t see it coming.  It helped me realize what a gift conviction by the Holy Spirit is.  Through His Word, others observations ~ I am really so grateful.  Left to myself, oh my, its saddening to think of how I would still be treating the sick people in my house.

BACK TO THE POST:   2 Corinthians 5:15 says “And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.”  Nominalism had crept in for me.  I wasn’t living like a Christian, one of God’s “chosen ones” whom he commands in Scripture to put on a compassionate heart.  I can testify though that as I sought to put off my selfish desires that the Lord’s power was made perfect in weakness. I confessed and repented and prayed that God would help me. I noticed the next time my husband was sick I truly felt compassion for him.  I wanted to help him feel better ~ even if that meant letting him sleep ALL day while I tended to the other sick ones lying around all by myself. He even has given me a deep desire to pray for my husband when he is sick.  I am on guard though to watch for selfish thoughts that may try to creep back in,  I know there may be times when in the middle of the night it will be very hard not to be selfish and angry.  Those are the times that I will continue to cry out to the one who is mighty to save!

Posted by Taraleigh

Showing True Compassion May 20, 2008

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience…” Colossians 3:12

I remember a time when it was our first Celebration conference at U.C.F. I was so excited to have a weekend with our church family and the fun of sharing a room with our closest friends along with our children. Little did I know that God had other plans for me that weekend, and I’m sad to say that I failed the test.

On the first day of the conference my poor husband became very sick requiring an emergency trip to the hospital where they admitted him to run tests. He ended up being in the hospital for the duration of Celebration. How did I respond? I’m ashamed to say that I became angry that my husband had”ruined” our weekend! Now I didn’t come out and say that to him with those words, but these were the thoughts lurking in my sinful heart. To think that in the midst of such selfish and angry thoughts God would allow my husband to lead me well in spite of what I deserved! And God was using this situation to make me more like Him – compassionate. Since then, I have often prayed that God would give me compassion for those who are suffering, because left to myself there will be no compassion.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines compassion as: literally, suffering with another; a sensation of sorrow excited by the distress or misfortunes of another; pity; commiseration.

So now when a family member is sick or suffering, I desire to be more like Christ and hopefully serve without grumbling the one who is in need. Lately there has been more than one family member needing my help and compassion, and I’ve been extended beyond my ability. God has helped me to “suffer with” them and to pray for them earnestly, not selfishly. That is a modern day miracle indeed!

Are you lacking compassion for your family? Then, pray!  I have seen how God answers our prayers by changing our desires to glorify Him in all things no matter the difficulty.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“…You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:2

Posted by Debi

Keeping Perspective May 19, 2008

We have had a lot of sickness in our household this last year. Not sure why, but we had weeks on end where viruses and infections were being passed back and forth. Then to top it all off, I was pregnant (most of this happened during my first trimester)!

So, the nights were long and hard – sitting up with sick children that had high fevers or were having a hard time breathing. My temptation (that unfortunately I gave in to often times) was to be short with my children and to think about how all of this was affecting ME!

At some point in the midst of all of this, the Lord changed my perspective. He helped me to see that caring for my children during sickness was part of being a mom! Of course it isn’t the “fun” part of Mommyhood, but an important part. He changed the way I was looking at it and my attitude toward it. I actually realized that I should cherish these moments – as difficult as they are – because my boys won’t be little forever. Before I know it, there will be some “other women” (their future wives) tending to my boys when they are sick! So keeping that in mind, it helped me to not despise the time. The Lord gave sufficient grace for those difficult weeks and I am so grateful for the new perspective He gave me. (Hopefully I will remember that the next time we are faced with illness!)

Posted by Stephanie