Hospitality That Comforts and Cares October 31, 2007

It wasn’t hard for me to think of a compelling example of a woman who has shown hospitality.  I want to share with you today about my friend, Stephanie Jessee.  Stephanie is a very gifted and talented woman in the area of decorating and entertaining. (and throwing showers, and coordinating weddings )  I have enjoyed many occasions and parties that Stephanie has planned.  There is always such attention to detail, an attention though that is truly thoughtful.  Whether it be centering a shower around a new mom’s favorite hobby, or a huge holiday dinner, Stephanie is truly gifted.

What has impacted me over the years the most though are the times where the Jessee’s have opened their home spontaneously.  There have been many times where we have been welcomed into their home when we have been walking through various trials.  Stephanie’s husband Chris will sense that we need to have some time to talk and Stephanie always has graciously welcomed us in, even ordering pizza one time because it was so last minute! Over tears that almost always turned into fits of laughter our family has been comforted and encouraged in times of need.  It’s an example to me of Stephanie realizing that her life is not her own, an example of a woman who truly has welcomed many over the years to minister the love of the Savior. 

Thank you my friend ~ I am so grateful for the memories and even more so for the impact your open heart and open home have had on my life!

Posted by Taraleigh

Excel Still More October 30, 2007

There are those who excel in creating a home that is inviting and comfortable to all who are invited over for the purpose of hospitality, and there are those who excel still more in making their guests feel welcome and comfortable seemingly without any effort on their part.  It is the latter that my sister-in-law, Sherry Gray, excels in.

She married my brother only five weeks after Tom and I were married in 1979, and I can honestly say that in the almost 29 years that we’ve been family, she has purposed to keep her door and heart open to others.  Whether it’s a planned afternoon of watching the game on TV, or spontaneously for a time of playing cards with new friends or even long-term providing a place for a single to live, she strives to make others feel welcome and at home. 

I heard someone comment that they love going to the Gray’s house because Sherry makes the best cookies.  She makes it a point to listen to her guests, and if they want cookies, it’s nothing for her to get up and bake them, just to make them happy.  She is tireless in her commitment to serve others, and I have often been convicted of my unwillingness to give my life away in service to others as she does.

Thank you, God, for the obvious work you have done in Sherry’s life, causing her to love others sincerely.  Thank you for the example she offers all of us in what it means to have not only an open home, but an open heart.  Thank you most of all, for placing her in my life encouraging me to excel still more.  May You bless her as she has so willingly blessed others.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Posted by Debi

Compelling Examples of Hospitable Women we Know October 29, 2007

This week we’re going to use the example of others to both thank them…and inspire you.  We’ll share stories of real people who have enriched our lives through their example of hospitality.  We trust your heart will be warmed and your commitment to practicing hospitality will be energized as you read the effect their lives have been.  Just think, YOU could be providing this kind of compelling example to those around you and not even know it!

Last March Benny and I were approaching our 34th anniversary.  Our anniversaries have always been a delightful time for us — whether we enjoyed a much anticipated getaway or a romantic dinner closeby.  This year we weren’t able to plan anything because of health issues and an impending surgery for me.  I was so sad.  I felt badly that I couldn’t do something fun for him, and he was sorry he couldn’t plan a fun getaway for me.  It would be the first time in 34 years we couldn’t "celebrate" together.

Enter Tom and Debi Walter…

Debi called to say she and Tom were coming on the night of our anniversary to take care of things.  They showed up with filet mignon for our entire family!  They prepared a delicious meal, presented it beautifully, and then left us and our children to enjoy the evening together.  We shared stories about our life as a couple over the years and relished our first anniversary with our children around the table with us.  It was an anniversary I will always remember.

Most people who know Tom and Debi have enjoyed their hospitable hearts and home.  Whether it’s a Super Bowl party with different "courses" of food served at the beginning of every quarter, a July 4th party with lots of family and friends, or Debi brimming with ideas for the party you are planning, the Walters have touched many of our lives with their warmth and generosity.  Tom is always right there beside Debi serving, cooking, mingling and making everyone feel welcome.  I don’t think I’ve ever known a couple that complement each other so beautifully in this wonderful gift of hospitality.

Thank you, Tom and Debi!  Our lives have been enriched by the heart of hospitality that is an evidence of God’s grace in your lives. 

And thanks for creating such a memorable anniversary for us this year.  We love you!

Posted by Sheree (for Benny, too)

Been There – Done That! October 26, 2007

In thinking about our call to practice hospitality, it is certain that some of us have experienced this scenario:

Full of excitement we invite guests into our home in an effort to extend hospitality and to "get to know" someone new.  We plan the menu and look forward to sharing our lives with people we haven’t had time with.  The night goes off well, and we plan another evening with another family.  We sense God’s pleasure and experience His joy as we give our lives away to bless others. 

Then, it happens.  It starts as a thought at first, and if left unchecked it progresses something like this, "We’ve had several people over, but no one has invited us to their house?  What’s wrong with us?  Did we do something wrong? I guess this church isn’t very friendly.  If other’s aren’t going to care, then, we won’t care either."

Tom and I have often been tempted and even succumbed to a "been there – done that" mentality.  What has been at the root of such thinking is nothing more than self-pity and wrong motives.  My husband often reminds me that if we are called to practice hospitality it doesn’t matter what we receive from it as much as what we give away.  God has called us to give of ourselves as a way of glorifying Him, not us.  Rather than feel guilty and condemned that we have felt this way, let’s repent of not taking such thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.  He is the One that is to be blessed by the opening of our homes, whether or not our efforts are reciprocated.  Tom also reminds me that we never know when the next family we have over will become lifelong friends that we’ll still be enjoying twenty years from now. 

I Peter 4 says:

9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Dear Father, please forgive me for the times that I have selfishly desired to be repaid for opening my home in hospitality.  I know that all relationships and friendships are a gift from you, but it is still for You alone that I want to obey Your command to practice hospitality.  If I find new friends – thank You.  You are leading me and guiding me even through this practice, and I know that what You plan is exactly what I need.  Help me to guard my thoughts and to think charitably about others.  Most of all, may I not shrink back, but help me to press on to the goal you have set for me for Your glory alone. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen!

Posted by Debi

Hospitality? October 25, 2007

We love to entertain.  Ever since we were first married, my husband and I have enjoyed entertaining.  It didn’t matter whether it was for 1 person or for 100, although I must admit Jon enjoys the larger crowds, while I prefer a more intimate group.  It is something we have consistently done in all of the circumstances in which we have found ourselves over the years.  We have had people over when we were in the midst of remodeling, without a kitchen.  We had a party a couple of weeks after returning from our honeymoon before we even unpacked.  And more recently, we entertained dozens of people in our bedroom (while I was on bed rest) and even had a birthday party for my husband.  But I have to ask the question, is all this entertaining really hospitality or is it something else?

Don’t get me wrong…I do believe much of what we have done is genuine hospitality.  I believe the Lord has enabled us to show this to many people.   Yet, how many times do I not offer hospitality because I don’t have the time to make everything perfect?  I love planning my menus, decorating and cooking.  And I really like to have it all look really good.  So, yes my pride does prevent me from offering hospitality more frequently, when I don’t have the time to do it like I want to do it.  How many missed opportunities have there been because I was more interested in entertaining than hospitality?  How many more people could I have shared the gospel with if I had been more interested in serving than impressing?

And now it affects more than just Jon and I, but our children as well.  I want them to know what true hospitality is and how it should be a part of our everyday lives.  I want our lives to reflect God’s glory and our home to be a place where true hospitality is shown to all at any time. 

Lord Jesus, I pray that you will continue to provide us with opportunities to reach out and share all you have given us with others.  Please help me to not let my pride prevent me from offering hospitality to anyone.  Let our home be a place of refuge and joy to others and let all be done for your glory and not my own.  Amen.

Posted by Elyse

I just don’t want to share…. October 24, 2007

There are a few things that hinder me from showing hospitality, well, two especially: busyness and selfishness.  Sometimes I just don’t want to share.  I don’t want to give up my one night to sit and do nothing.  There are too many things going on, I can’t have someone over for dinner!  I don’t want to open my home, especially when I haven’t had enough time to make things just right. 

Have you ever said any of these things?

It’s true, hospitality comes at a cost.  I am learning that the higher the cost, the more the Lord surprises me! There are days when we get a call in the afternoon asking if we can get together with someone, and I am buried in daily tasks; I think to myself – no way!  Those are the nights it seems when the Lord works, not through my effort, but through His Spirit.  He uses a selfish person like me to minister His love to those in need ~ through an open heart and open home.  I can actually begin to see this as a privilege to serve in this way.  We have been talking about in Galatians about how we are set free to serve one another.  What a tangible way to put this truth into practice. 

A wise man once said, "True freedom is the liberty to love and serve others while fighting self-indulgence".  When we open our homes to show hospitality, whether it be a game night, dinner party, or just coffee, we are fighting our fleshly desires and truly loving and serving others as God has called us to.

Lord God, I ask for You to forgive me for loving myself more than I love You.  I need Your help to take my eyes off myself and turn towards You.  Help me to see more clearly the work that was done on the cross.  A work that was done that has set me free!  Free to love and serve others, free to lay down my life daily for my family and my church.  Lord, I pray that  You would place a burden on my heart to reach out, even when it is completely inconvenient. Lord, I pray that You would help me make my home a place that has a fragrance of your peace and love ~ a place of refuge for others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Posted by Taraleigh

Homemade Impressions October 23, 2007

One of the kids walked into the kitchen and said, "Ummmm!  Something smells really good.  Is it apple pie?"

"Yes, it is," I responded. 

"Cool!  So who’s coming over for dinner?"

Gulp.  It wasn’t the first time I had gotten this question.  But for some reason it pierced my heart that day.  As a mom of many small children, I had fallen into the trap of out-doing myself when people were coming for dinner but lacking enthusiasm for being hospitable to my own family.  In the days following I asked the Lord to search my heart.  Was I seeking to impress my friends with yummy homemade desserts and freshly baked bread?  What was my "going out of my way" for others communicating to my children?  Was I motivated by pride and reputation consciousness?  Was I craving the applause that came from guests who marveled at my ability to mother a bunch of children but still have time to bake an amazing pie?  Was I seeking to establish and feed a reputation of being a good mom, good cook, good wife, good homemaker…good everything?  Why was I embarrassed when a favorite recipe didn’t taste or look just right?  Had I reduced hospitality to food and presentation rather than seeing it as the knitting of hearts through love and biblical fellowship?

I found that all of these questions had to be answered with a shameful "yes."  These evidences of sinful pride in my life were just a few of the growing manifestations of arrogance and selfish ambition in my heart. 

My devotions took on a new commitment to self-suspicion.  Why did I see "hospitality" as something I did for others…and not the attitude of my heart toward my own family?  My full life of birthing, nursing, homeschooling and training my children had become a selfish excuse to give the best of my creativity to others, and just "get by" with my family.

As the Lord worked in my heart I didn’t feel the solution was to bake bread and make homemade desserts everyday.  God was working in my heart.  He was expanding my perspective on "practicing hospitality."  Who better to "practice" on than my husband and children?  This practice, God showed me, would only make extending hospitality to others even more fun and less stressful as I learned how to manage my time, try new recipes, add special touches to meals, and look for ways to bless those I was MOST called to serve.

As I repented of my pride, selfishness and love of reputation God did a wonderful thing in my heart.  Over many years of mortifying my sin with His help, He has given me a love of practicing hospitality on Benny and the kids.  We’ve even named some foods after them and I love making Jospeh’s chicken, Jaime’s lasagna, Josh’s spaghetti sauce, Benny’s pecan pie or PJ’s cobbler just to say "I love you."  And Jake can smell his biscuits (you know, the yummy Red Lobster ones) from a mile away. 

Off to throw some frozen pizzas in the oven.  It’s just one of those days. 

Posted by Sheree

Are You Listening? October 22, 2007

This week we’re going to look at specific hindrances we face in practicing hospitality.

When was the last time you spontaneously invited someone over without worrying if the house was clean or the chores were finished? So many times we miss great opportunities to open our homes in hospitality because we’re not paying attention.  If our idea of hospitality involves planning, cleaning and cooking to the expense of loving those whom God is sending our way, then, maybe a new definition of hospitality is needed.  Day after day needs are expressed to us by friends, family and maybe even strangers, but in our busyness, routine  and self-focus we often miss the Holy Spirit’s nudge to invite them into our homes and lives.  God is in the interruptions we face each day.  The question is, "Are we listening?"

Needs can be expressed to us in fragmented sentences, a look or a sigh.  If we are mindful of our call to hospitality, we would answer these cries with an invitation to come over for tea, or to join us for dinner.  The emphasis is on loving rather than entertaining. 

Wouldn’t you be blessed if a friend happened to overhear your sighs for help during a challenging situation and took it upon herself to invite you over for tea, enabling you to have a much needed break?  How would such an invitation bless an unsaved neighbor? 

Now, some of you may be objecting to this saying, "I’ve tried to reach out to others, but it’s always me doing the reaching out.  When is it my turn?"  That will be another post later this week.  For now, we need to open our ears to the Spirit’s call to reach out in love with open hearts and open homes.  Maybe God will have a hidden blessing in it for us – making us more like the Savior who was willing to lay His life down for His friends.  (John 15:13)

Posted by Debi

Hospitality Meets Reality October 19, 2007

I’ve decided to share with you one of my most embarrassing moments when it comes to hospitality.  I do this, not to scare you away from practicing this Biblical mandate, but to encourage you that our initial idea of what a perfect evening looks like, and how it turns out in reality, are often two different things.  I’m certain that God knew exactly what I needed to serve that night – and it wasn’t pecan pie!

I was in the throes of homeschooling three small children when we decided to invite two couples over for
dinner and dessert.  I love to bake, so I worked hard to make sure the pecan pie would still be warm when I served it after dinner!  When one of our friend’s took his first bite, I expected to hear compliments.  Instead, I was horrified to watch him reach into his mouth and pull out a long hair – slowly I might add – which allowed a pecan half to dangle from the end as it left his mouth.  The entire table broke into laughter, and so did I – on the outside!  My pride was crushed – a good thing – and I was embarrassed beyond measure.  This person continues to remind me to this day of my "wonderful baking abilities". 

I never tasted that pie;  I was too full from the big slice of humble pie I had already been served. 

Posted by Debi (I was tempted to leave my name out!)

One Family’s Journey October 18, 2007

In searching the blogosphere for what is being discussed in regard to hospitality, I found this blog.  The author talks about her family’s idea to open their home on Friday nights to another family to spend the night with them in their home as a means of practically opening their lives to fellowship and hospitality.  They call this practice, "Bed and Breakfast".  It’s so well written I didn’t want to summarize it.  I thought you would enjoy reading it as I did. 

Posted by Debi