Fear of Man June 29, 2007

I was unable to attend Jenny’s session on Forfeiting Joy. However, just reading through her notes calls to mind a season of sin in my life that I am ashamed to admit lasted far too long. In fact, I know it is still lurking in my heart; it just manifests itself in different ways now. I am thankful for this opportunity to examine myself and confess to you my pride and arrogance in how I live and think. The sin I have battled my entire life is fear of man.

As a mother of three small children I worked tirelessly to control my children’s every move. This had the appearance of being a devoted Mom, committed to train my children in the way they should go. But within the depths of my heart, I craved the approval of others.  I was fearful of what others would think if they knew the real me. I was so proud and arrogant that I hated the thought of someone correcting me. There were times, and they happened often, when a friend would come to me with an observation about my children. I would cringe in my heart but still manage to listen, mustering up as much appreciation that my embarrassment could manage. Then, my usual sinful response would be to lash out at my children in anger because they were making me look bad! This grieves my soul to admit.

Of course I never said such things to them but my words, facial expressions and actions communicated far more than I realized. I wouldn’t have admitted to this sin at the time, but as I’ve pursued the Lord through the years and asked for His help in discerning pride in my life, I’ve realized just how much I crave the approval of others. I fear man and protect my reputation more than I fear God. I want to change, and by God’s amazing grace – I am! I want to grow, and by God’s faithfulness to reveal my pride – I am! I want to be a Mom who has faith for what God is doing in my family, even when it seems that all my hard work is for nothing. I must apply the Truth of the Gospel to my sin, repent, and cry out for God’s mercy to fight this fear.

He has promised that He will complete the work He’s begun in my children and in me. He desires to use me — a sinner! –to accomplish this goal. The all-powerful God doesn’t need me to accomplish this, but He wants me to cooperate so that He receives the glory, and so that I am being conformed more and more into the image of His Glorious Son.

This is the source of the most satisfying joy.

Posted by Debi

Anger: What am I craving? June 28, 2007

"All our desires and passions are like an armed camp within us, ready at a moments notice to declare war against anyone who stands in the way of some personal gratification on which we have set our hearts."  This quote from J.A. Motyer rings so true for me.  Many times, on a moments notice, I find myself angry at my children — when only moments before all seemed well.  Yes, there is something I am craving that I am not getting.  It might be peace, or order or quiet.  Maybe it’s gratitude or just complete, cheerful, immediate obedience all the time (it doesn’t hurt to dream).  Whatever it is, I sinfully react to my children at times when I do not get what I am craving.  My anger is, as Jenny Detweiler said, "a self-focused response to something I crave." 

I never really looked at this as forfeiting joy.  But truly I am forfeiting the joy the Lord has for me when I give in to my sinful cravings and allow myself to become angry with my children.  I keep thinking about what Jenny shared about wanting my desire to be for my children to fear God and not me.  I do not want to be a stumbling block to them, but instead want to point them to the Lord for their obedience.  It is very helpful to me to do as she said and prepare for temptation.  I know that today and tomorrow my children will disobey in many ways.  So, what am I going to do when this does happen….  Respond sinfully in anger or put on humility and forgiveness ?  By God’s grace, I pray that more often I will put off my anger and glorify Him in my response. 

I know my children will continue to give in to their temptations to sin, just as I do against my heavenly Father.  I pray I will be able to show them the grace that He so abundantly lavishes on me and begin to ignite joy in my heart instead of continuing to forfeit the joy He has for me.

Posted by Elyse

How was your day? June 27, 2007

A simple question, but does it ever really have a simple answer?  When my husband comes home from a long hard day at work and asks me that, quite a few thoughts go through my head.  I am sure some days he wished he had never asked.

Each day we are all faced with an opportunity to find our joy in the one who made us.  Very often I fall into grumbling about how I didn’t have time to finish the laundry because I was mopping up peanut butter off the floor. Or complaining that I never get a break or the house gets dirty again before I can even finish cleaning it.

During her message Jenny said that "grumbling is always against God, and it questions God’s goodness and His awareness of our need."  That is exactly what I am doing when I am grumbling or complaining to my husband, I am not trusting in God’s promises! "No trial can outweigh his worthiness to receive thanksgiving."

Here is a quote from Susan Lutz:

"Being thankful does not mean living in denial, suppressing our feeling, or ignoring reality.  It means being honest, but bringing all those things to a God who has promised to love us and demonstrated it by sending His Son to be our Savior.  It brings us nearer to heaven, and helps us to overcome the world."

It’s not that I can’t share struggles with my husband, but there is a way to be open with him as opposed to having a gripe session.  "Honey you will never believe what Joseph got into today — my Starbucks mocha powder — it was everywhere!  It was so funny I emailed you a picture." Or "The kids had a really hard time getting along today and I got very angry with them at lunch, I had to ask their forgiveness and we were all able to pray and ask God for help." 

As a mom, I am learning how to have joy in everyday trials that I am praying will help me when the larger trials come in my life.  I have seen God’s sustaining grace in helping me laugh about mopping up chocolate, certainly God will give me grace to have joy when the real storms come!

Posted by Taraleigh

All My Joy is Found in You! June 25, 2007

We are continuing this week with follow up to our ladies retreat, "Joy Inexpressible."  Jenny Detwiler’s second message entitled Forfeiting Our Joy listed four areas that are joy robbers:  fear, worry, anger and bitterness.  This week we will share ways in which these sins affect our motherhood.  We trust you will be both comforted in your own struggles knowing they are common and freshly convicted, leading to repentance of your sin.  We are in that process, too!

Philippians 4:5-7 "The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Raising two boys has done one very important thing for my prayer life…increased it =)!  It’s when I’m not going to God in prayer that I can tend to experience a greater measure of sinful anxiety regarding my boys’ relationship with the Lord.  I deeply desire to see them come to love the Lord with all of their heart, mind, soul, and strength.  This desire can unfortunately turn into a sinful craving and rob me of any joy in parenting them if I am not careful to guard my heart and mind, and trust God to do what He alone can do in their hearts.

God has called me to faithfully train them in the way they should go, not to change their hearts.  When I find myself becoming impatient with the process of God conforming them into the image of His son, and I am looking to their obedience as my source of joy, it’s at that point that my soul gets into trouble.  It is a sure indication that I have stopped trusting in the faithfulness of God and that I am not finding my joy in Him alone.

Some of the indications that this prideful impatience has taken up residence in my heart are as follows: I become easily offended by my boys’ sins; I respond in anger or with harsh words instead of with grace and the law of kindness on my tongue; I lack joy in parenting them; and, I become fearful and anxious about whether or not they will become godly men one day.

Time and again, the Lord has convicted me of these sins through His Holy Spirit, through my husband, and through friends who are willing to speak the truth in love to me.  He has given the grace to repent, and He has also given the grace to change over the years.  The Lord gently reminds me in the Scriptures of His faithfulness and of my need to go to Him in prayer concerning my boys.  That is the only lasting remedy for my soul.  Joy abounds when I am trusting Him…and my boys are certainly the beneficiaries!

Posted by Michelle

Little Things Kids Say June 22, 2007

So often I find myself listening to little children that I pass in
the store saying the cutest things.  Many times the parents aren’t
paying any attention to what they are saying and miss those precious
moments. 

Bil Keane is the creator of the Family Circus cartoon that has so
wonderfully captured life with small children.  Here is a cartoon that
accurately portrays a family hike together in the woods. (Double click
on it to read) Take time to listen to the cute things your children say – this is one way to find joy everyday!  Have a great weekend!

Joy at Home Depot June 21, 2007

Have you ever taken three kids to Home Depot?  Three kids that could use a lunch and a nap?

I walked into Home Depot today with an odd list, and I had no idea where any of these things were.  I found someone with an orange apron and asked if he could point me in the right direction.  He took a look at me and my "entourage" and smirked as he pointed to four different corners of the store.   So off we went to find a light switch.  Did you know there is a whole wall of light switches?  There were some that were like $9.00 and some that were $0.50.  I, being the Proverbs 31 woman I am, picked up the $0.50 one and hoped for the best.

The moral of the story is this: God gave me the grace today to find joy in taking my kids to Home Depot.  It really was quite humorous, I am sure people thought I was crazy!  Actually I really hope that people noticed something different about us as all four of us contemplated which switch to buy and what color key to get. I hope that we shone a light on how the Gospel has changed my life.  As the same orange aproned man rang up our purchase he was still smirking, a little more puzzled this time at the fact that we still were all laughing and singing and not yelling or crying.  After the ladies retreat I have been more aware of how much my joy (or lack thereof) can produce a strong effect on not just my family, but everyone we come in contact with. I tell my children that "a joyful heart is good medicine" but mommy needs to remember that, too! Now let’s pray that I will still have joy even if I have to return everything I bought once my husband comes home!!!!

Joy in Trials June 20, 2007

Over this past weekend, and even the couple of weeks leading up to it, the Lord has been reminding me of the need for joy in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Life can be draining (especially for us moms) – whether our child is sick for a week, or we have a major life-changing event – we need strength!  And guess what?  Scripture tells us that "The joy of the Lord is our strength." (Neh. 8:10)  So…if we need strength, we need JOY!

Our "joy" can’t be based on whether or not we have had a "good" day.  True joy is rooted in something MUCH deeper.  Jerry Bridges put it this way, "…we must learn to live by the realization that whatever our situation might be, it is far better than we deserve.  Actually, we deserve God’s eternal judgment.  It’s been said, ‘Anything this side of hell is pure grace.’  This statement is true and we must accept it and adjust our attitude accordingly."

When we are joyful in the midst of our circumstances, the world notices.  It is like a candle shining in the darkness.  Others will even ask, "How can you be joyful in the midst of what you are going through?"  Immediately, we have an oportunity to share the work God is doing in our lives, and He receives the glory.  We must set our focus on what Christ has done for us.  Our trials are momentary (even though at times it seems like they may never end), but our Savior’s work for us is eternal!  We have MUCH to be joyful about!

Everyday Joy June 19, 2007

Looking back over the past few days of the Ladies Retreat, I keep reminding myself to choose one thing.  I know the Lord is not calling me to change all things at once, but what is that one thing for me now, today?  I keep coming back to needing to find my joy in the day to day.  Thankfully, by God’s grace alone, He has given me joy when my world seems to be falling apart.  I have experienced joy in Him when I knew that it just shouldn’t be so.  Why then do I struggle with having joy on a daily basis?  My circumstances now are not difficult or challenging.  Certainly "the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."  So what can I do?

I keep thinking of this quote from Donald Whitney in Simplify Your Spiritual Life.  "Like Jean with three in diapers, you may be in a situation that curtails many of your spiritual activities.  You may be looking at many months or even years of such limitations.  Do what you can.  God does not love us more when we do more, nor less when we do less.  He accepts us, not because of what we do for Him, but because of what He’s done for us in Christ.  The Bible says,"He made us accepted in the Beloved [that is, Jesus}" (Eph. 1:6).  And nothing "shall be able to separate us form the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom. 8:39). Love God, and within the limitations He has sovereignly placed in your life at this time, do what you can."  (emphasis mine)  How freeing this is to me.  Especially, remembering that He has sovereignly placed these limitations in my life right now.

Next, I come back to the question which Jenny Detwiler asked, "Am I choosing the good portion?  Am I taking full advantage of my opportunities?"  I would have to admit, that no I am not doing that.  But I can now begin.  This is for me the place I believe the Lord is calling me to begin.  Each day it will look different, but by His grace I will do what I can.  As George Mueller said, "I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord."  I pray that He will help me to do this each day.  What is He calling you to do?  Just choose one thing and "do what you can."

One Thought At A Time June 18, 2007

This past weekend over 800 ladies from all over the southeast came to Metro Life Church for the Joy Inexpressible Conference.  Jenny Detwiler spoke on the challenges that keep us from experiencing this joy on an ongoing basis.  This week we are going to hear from several ladies about their struggles and convictions in this area.  It is our prayer that we will learn from each other what it looks like to pursue joy even in the midst of a very busy season of life.

I was only able to attend one session, and God knew that this was the session I needed most to hear; It was Jenny’s last message on Gratefulness.  I have been aware recently of how often I neglect to express gratitude for the things that others do.  Take my husband, for example, he is committed to provide for our family day in and day out, whether or not I acknowledge my appreciation for his hard work.  I believe I am grateful for his dedication and strong work ethic, but why don’t I make the effort to say so?  It’s mainly because I am not thinking about it; I am too self-focused to take the time to consider him or others.  This is wrong, yet I realize I am only seeing a glimpse into the depth of this sin in my heart.  By God’s grace I will make this a daily pursuit starting with reading a book this summer that Jenny highly recommended.  It’s titled The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, by Jeremiah Burroughs.

Jenny also spoke about our tendency to grumble and complain rather that rejoice in what God has done.  The example she gave hit home in my heart.   How many times do I complain about the way my house looks when I should be grateful to God for my house? She said, "Grumbling  is a pollutant in the waters of my heart."   May this picture motivate me to keep the waters of my heart clean.  How, you may ask?  I believe it will happen taking captive – one ungrateful thought at a time.

posted by Debi

Peace and Joy June 14, 2007

“Peace is the flowing of the brook, but joy is the rushing of the waterfall when the brook is filled and bursts its banks, and gushes down upon the rocks.”
- Charles H. Spurgeon

May the Lord bring the rushing waters of His everlasting joy down upon our heads as we attend a state-wide ladies conference titled, Joy Inexpressible, which takes place tonight through Saturday. Until next week may this thought from Mr. Spurgeon encourage your hearts and minds.