Spring Cleaning Begins in the Heart February 27, 2007

Ok…here’s the question.  WHY do I like a clean and orderly home?  (Not that I often have one with 4 teens and young adults still living at home with their friends coming and going lots….)  But I do love vaccuum lines and the smell of pinesol and being able to find the scissors when I need them.  One of my favorite times in the week is Saturday morning when everyone is doing "Saturday Chores" — a practice my mom started and, by the way, I said I would NEVER continue with my kids. 

So how do I know when these things have become too important to me?  When I sin to get them or sin when I don’t get them.  That’s when cleanliness and order have become an idol to me.

• When I react angrily to my kids when they leave a mess or don’t keep their rooms neat…I’m idolizing order in the home.
• When I resort to selfish manipulation or guilt to try to motivate them to help around the house…I’m idolizing cleanliness and neatness.
• When I allow my desire for a tidy home to become a demand that leads to self-pity over feeling taken for granted as a mom and homemaker…I’m idolizing having helpful children.

Some practical tips about cleaning and order are coming along soon on the blog.  We may even have an "organization" contest where you can submit before and after pictures of an area of your home you’ve organized for a fun prize.  But we have to always remember this:  everything begins with the heart.  We can have neat and clean homes and still not be glorifying God if our hearts are full of idolatrous cravings that prize preferences over people. 

So let’s spend this week looking at our hearts.  Perhaps they are the first places that need a good spring cleaning.

Posted by Sheree

Spring is in the Air February 26, 2007

It is feeling like Spring outside, which always freshly motivates me to clean house.  However, that motivation often gets ignored due to my own laziness and/or busyness.  Before I know it, the heat of summer sets in, and the last thing I’m naturally motivated to do then, is clean! 

I have been married for 28 years and sadly, still struggle with some of the same things, especially when it comes to being busy at home.  This ought not to be! I have had seasons of wonderful growth, and seasons of great setback.  It is a constant battle to stay focused on what God has called me to do. 

This week we will devote our blog to the heart behind being a Keeper of the Home.  Why do we do what we do?  There are three priorities to keep in mind:

1. God has created us to be busy at home, and it is how we can glorify Him most!
2. We are serving our husbands by providing them a haven of rest.  My husband loves to come home to a house that is neat and clean.  He has told me repeatedly that he is more at rest when I’ve taken the time to serve him in this way. 
3. We are modeling for our children what it means to be a Keeper of the Home.  What kind of keeper are they learning to be from the example we are setting? 

Pride often keeps us from being honest with each other and sharing the struggles we face in this area.  Let’s commit to be real with one another and honestly admit our hinderances and struggles.  For then, God pours His grace upon the humble and enables us to experience true, lasting change.

Posted by Debi

My Funny Valentine February 23, 2007

It is unusual for a man to post to this blog – although I do read it and keep with what is going on around here as part of serving to maintain this site.

But you’ve just GOTTA hear what my wife did for me on Valentine’s Day!  She needs some kind of award!

She told me some time ago she wanted to arrange Valentine’s Day this year. All she told me leading up to this was that we were going to a spa.  Umm….this didn’t go over well since that is definitely not my thing at all, but I consented thinking that this was something really important to her.  And I certainly did not want to mess up Valentines Day before it even got started.  As we left for dinner she told me that since we were going to the spa she wanted to do a "guy" dinner.  So we headed out for wings.  While we were in line, our good friends Kyle and Taraleigh Davis showed up.  At this point, I am still oblivious but it is becoming more obvious that something is up. 

While we were waiting for our food Kyle and I were informed that we were headed out for an evening of Paintball with our wives!  We were both shocked!  They had packed a change of clothes and even found out that there was no charge for ladies on V-Day (an offer the man on the telephone let them know had never been taken up…)  When we got to the paintball fields there was one other couple there.  So for over 2 hours we all shot paintballs at each other and laughed about the best Valentines Day surprise Kyle and I had ever received.  We have the wounds to show that we were at war, but having a great time all the way with it.

Stephanie, thanks for my funny Valentine – every time I think of it I smile and am reminded of the gift that you are to me!

Posted by very manly Chris Jessee

A Mother’s Desperate Prayer February 22, 2007

When our oldest son, Caleb was about 9 months old, he was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus.  In a nutshell, this is a condition that causes there to be too much fluid in the brain.  We found this out after a routine check up.  He was completely normal – the only thing that gave it away was that he had a big head!

What a SHOCK!  This had already been a challenging year for us as we had been in a head-on collision about 6 months before this.  We had made a major move, changed jobs, etc.  I was tired.  Then I found out my baby had some condition I have never heard of AND he needed to have surgery!  What a whirlwind of emotions that brought!  I wanted life to be "normal" but for that season, God had something else in mind. 

Prayer became very important to me.  It was often the only thing that carried me through.  In the weeks leading up to his surgery, I had many sleepless nights.  There was a battle going on in my head – a battle of fear vs. truth.  The problem was that I had NO control over this situation, but I wanted control.  I found in those moments (or sometimes hours) that I could approach the Lord in prayer.  Unbelievable as it was, He cared for Caleb even more than I did.  He WAS in control of this situation.  I had to learn to trust Him.  I was not always faithful, but He was ALWAYS faithful.

The Lord graciously answered our prayers.  Through the means of doctors and surgery, God healed Caleb!  He still has a shunt in his head that must be checked yearly.  (In fact it is time to schedule this year’s MRI.)  But aside from that, you would never know what he went through as a baby.  God has blessed Caleb with good health and a life that is perfectly "normal."  Isn’t God good?  I am so grateful that God used this situation in my life for my good, just as He promised.  As my husband puts it, this is just another instance where God is establishing a personal history of His faithfulness to me. 

God DOES answer prayers – that is so amazing to me.  I hope it encourages you in whatever trials you are facing.

Posted by Stephanie

Tips For Praying In The Morning February 21, 2007

I wanted to share with you just a few practical suggestions that have helped me recently as I endeavor to pray in the mornings.  When I wake up early I have a very hard time concentrating and not falling back asleep. To help me not nod off every few minutes I started actually writing out my prayers in my journal.  I have a small three subject notebook so I can also keep my notes from Sundays and other musings close by.  I also keep a pad of sticky notes right next to me so that I can jot down things that come up while I am praying so that I am not distracted. 

This has really helped me stay focused and record my prayers so I can look back at God’s faithfulness in my life and others around me.  It also helps me remember how I specifically prayed for my husband that day to share with him.  I have loved starting my day that way ~ casting my burdens at the Lord’s feet, asking him what his priorities would be for me that day.  Oh, and one more thing, I have all my things that I will need for my prayer time in one place (a basket) so I am not wasting one moment looking for my pen or my journal or my Bible.  So if you are like me and are dozing after five minutes and the next thing you know someone is asking for breakfast ~ this may help!!!

Posted by Taraleigh

Desperate Prayer February 20, 2007

I will never forget the day as long as I live.  My pre-teen looked at me with tears exclaiming, "You’re trying too hard to control me, and I hate it!"

My anger dissapated to despair as I turned to escape into my bedroom.  For the first time in my mothering years I didn’t know what to do.  Was I losing my child to the world that I had tried so hard to protect him or her from?  I was desperate for God to help me as only He could.  I laid on my tear-stained pillow for what seemed like hours asking God to forgive me for the way I had tried to manipulate and control.  I asked, I pleaded for Him to intervene and to help me.  My husband wasn’t home, so I had to walk through this dark, lonely valley alone, but was I really alone?  As I was crying out to God, I wasn’t sure if He was really listening.  After all, my guilty conscience chided, I was only getting back what I deserved. 

Exhausted I came out of my room a broken mother with only a whisper of a prayer.  Little did I know that God had captured every one of my tears in His loving hands, and He had already sent help on the way. For soon after Benny and Sheree Phillips arrived from Virginia for a parenting seminar on Parenting Teens.  The theme was "Faith" and God used this seminar to reveal an idol of control in my heart.  It was then, that God changed my heart, and began to teach me how to be a Mom of Faith instead of a Mom of Control.

Here’s an excerpt from my journal in 1996:

The Lord revealed to me what has been in my heart since I became a mother.  It was that I’ve had a spirit of control over my kids.  I began crying and repenting to the Lord.  I asked Him to take away the control and give me faith.  The weeping began from deep within.  How I have grieved the Holy Spirit.  This is the root of what comes out of my mouth as harshness.  The Lord has put me in a situation where I can’t be in control of everything.  I have to  trust God and have faith that He will complete the good work He’s begun in them.  I told Tom that I don’t know how to be a Mom of Faith. I have always been a Mom of Control.  I have believed that as a home-school mom I wouldn’t have a difficult time in the teen years because they weren’t around the world as much.  How wrong I was, for they are sinners in need of a Savior.  God is my hope and the One I must trust, not any method.  If the method worked I wouldn’t need God.  Father, thank You for Your correction in my life.  Teach me how to be a Mom of Faith!

Posted by Debi (who IS a woman of faith…thank you for your faith for us and our children!)

Choosing to Love February 19, 2007

This week we will take a look at prayer in the life of a mom.  How have we seen God answer the cries of our hearts for our children?  Why is prayer a critical aspect of godly motherhood?  We hope our journeys comfort and encourage you…and that we will all experience fresh committment and faith to pray for our children.

When my oldest son was between the ages of 2 and 3, I went through a very challenging season with him.  I had grown bitter and resentful in my heart toward him for his repeated acts of disobedience, his disrespect, and his lack of appreciation for the love I had for him.  I am ashamed to say that the very child I had prayed for, I now had contempt toward.  I had allowed my sinful desire for his perfect obedience, his respect, and his appreciation for all that I was doing for him to poison my heart.  It was through the loving observations of those closest to me regarding these sins, and through many, many prayers that God did a work in my heart toward my son. 

First, I asked God to forgive me for the bitterness and resentment in my heart toward my son.  Second, I began to pray earnestly that God would change my heart toward my son, even if he never changed.  I prayed often, and many others prayed for me.  It was a heart-wrenching season, but God helped me to change. 

He showed me a picture one day during my prayer time of how those He came to save, including me, had mocked, hit, and spit on him, but His response was to love and forgive, not be bitter and resentful.  He had lavished love on those who were completely unworthy.  Could I receive such amazing love in return for my hatred and not do the same for my own son?

This was the turning point for me in my relationship with my son.  God had reminded me of how unworthy I was to have received His love and enabled me to love my son.  Choosing to love my son is possible because of the Savior’s love for me.  To His glory, my affection for my son has only increased these last ten years, and I am hopeful that it will continue because of God’s faithfulness to conform me into the image of His Son.

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." (1 John 4:10)

Posted by Michelle

Favorite Romantic Websites February 16, 2007

To end our Romancing Our Husbands theme, we thought it would be good to provide you with some resources to use in continuing to find special ways to romance your husband.  (These are for those of you in Orlando…but we’re sure similar spots are available everywhere!)  Many of us just don’t know what to do or what’s available around town.  Here are a few sites I’ve found to be very helpful, and many of the activities are FREE!!!  Bookmark these sites for ideas in the future. 

Panullo’s Italian Restaurant – located on beautiful Park Avenue in Winter Park.  Sign up for their free e-newsletter that offers regular  coupons and information about events taking place on the Avenue.

WLOQ – the local Smooth Jazz radio station will often sponser free jazz concerts around town.  These are great events that ooze romance!!

Uptown Altamonte – is a new place that offers free, fun activities on a regular basis.  You may be familiar with Crane’s Roost Park.  This is located right next to it on Highway 436.

Harry P. Leu Gardens – is one of my favorite romantic places in Orlando!  They offer many romantic events throughout the year, including Movie Date Nights, where they play a romantic classic out on the lawn under the stars.  They allow you to pack your own picnic too!  Also check out their storytelling time for your little ones!

Love is… February 15, 2007

Okay, I admit it!  I asked my husband what it looks like to romance him during tough times.  His answer surprised me, so I imagine it will surprise you, too!

He said that he loves knowing that I am thinking about romancing him, so that it takes the pressure off of him. It also relieves his temptation to think that he has to be all things to all people, including the romantic husband!  What a fun and practical way that I can serve him.  Of course, I’m talking about when he is facing tough times outside of the home, mostly with work issues. 

But what about when I am the one he is struggling with?  After 28 years of marriage, we don’t have many of those long nights anymore, BUT we have the battle scars that I will never forget!  Times when he took long walks around the block because he was exasperated with me!  Romancing him in that moment would mean being willing to repent first!  That is a hard reality of what it means to romance our husbands. 

I remember in the 70′s there was this little cartoon of a couple with simple definitions of love.  It would start with the saying, "Love is…"  and then finish with a short definition. Here’s one that reminds us that it isn’t our job to judge our husbands, only to love and romance them, regardless of the weather!

Posted by Debi

Different By Design February 14, 2007

I’d like to begin my post by listing some differences between Todd and myself for your amusement, but ultimately with a purpose in mind =).

I like R&B and jazz music; Todd likes techno and Euro dance music.

I like Italian food; Todd likes Cuban.

I like hot weather; Todd likes cold weather.

I love dark chocolate; Todd loves milk chocolate.

I like Pride and Prejudice; Todd likes Law and Order.

I love city life; Todd likes country life.

I communicate in paragraph form; Todd communicates in bullet point form.

I like the color white; Todd likes the color black.

I love silk fabric; Todd loves cotton fabric.

I was created to follow and help him; He was was created to lead and cherish me.

The biggest difference is that Todd is a man and I am a woman.  Are there many differences between us? Yes!  Do we have conflicts?  Absolutely!  Is there a reason?  Indeed – indwelling sin!  Is there a remedy?  Most assuredly – in the shadow of the Cross, humility and forgiveness are often the remedy for the conflicts that arise most often due to the simple truth that we are very different, by God’s design.

One of the sins in my heart that causes conflicts in our marriage is my ungratefulness for how God sovereignly chose to make us different.  Instead of appreciating the differences, I sometimes resent them.  The selfishness in my heart drives me to want to make him more like me, instead of cultivating a heart that wants to learn to like what he likes.

A simple, but helpful remedy here is to repent of my ungratefulness and selfishness, and in humility ask for forgiveness.  Putting feet on this act of repentance means trying by God’s grace to change.  When I was being selfish the other evening on a date night and pressing to have dinner at one of my favorite restaurants instead of preferring him and choosing one that he’d like, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sin of selfishness.  I confessed my selfishness, and we went to the restaurant he preferred.

This may seem small, but several small acts of selflessness, and small attempts at preferring him, demonstrates to him in a tangible way that I am trying to grow in my appreciation of our differences.  To my amazement, his favorite food is quickly becoming one of my favorites too!

Posted by Michelle