Troubled Holidays November 23, 2009

The holiday season officially starts this week.  For many of us, that’s a “happy” thought.  Yet for others it brings a hint of sadness…or perhaps weighty, troubling thoughts.

But for others, happy holidays is somewhat of an an oxymoron.  Kinda like someone who is “terribly nice” or an item made of “genuinely-imitation leather.”

Like the sad years following my Uncle Alvin’s death.  It was just before Christmas 1966 and I was 12 years old. A tragic house fire resulted in the horrific and slow death of one of Mom’s younger brothers.  A year later my 13-year-old future husband lost his little sister to leukemia just days before Christmas, too.  When Benny and I met 4 years later we talked about the sadness Christmas still held for us.

Perhaps like us, you lost someone you love during the holidays.   Or maybe years of infertility leave you facing another holiday season without a little one to share it with.  As a single, do the holidays bring tinges of sadness as you anticipate another Thanksgiving and Christmas without the love and companionship of the man you have asked God to provide for you?  Or maybe you or your husband have lost your job and there will be few gifts this year under your tree.   And some of you, I’m sure, live far from family.  This year you will be unable to experience the joy of childhood memories of the special traditions you remember so fondly.

For many, “Happy Holidays” can be a reminder of what is not happy about the holidays…and bring temptations to excessive sadness.

While Uncle Alvin’s death doesn’t still affect my holidays, missing my Mom still brings waves of longing to my heart.   The traditional breakfast she and I made together for as many Christmases as I remember will still be enjoyed, but she won’t be there fighting me for space next to the stove to fry our Puffs (her yummy recipe will be available next month).  Over the years since her death and our move to Florida in 2000, I have had to learn how to manage my sadness with God’s help.  Honestly, it’s taken time and prayer to discern when sadness bleeds into self-pity.

I’m really glad Thanksgiving comes before Christmas.  Each year I try to recount the numerous evidences of God’s kindness and grace to me.   Amazingly, it doesn’t take long for my heart to find joy in God’s faithfulness and provision.  Self-pity is soon replaced with gratefulness for His blessings.

In fact, it’s time for me to start this year’s “Thanksgiving List.”  Will you join me?  The “man of sorrows who was fully acquainted with grief” (Is 53:3) who “in every way was tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb 4:15) can provide us with the comfort and grace we need to glorify Him in the midst of holiday challenges.

And for those of us who are anticipating truly happy holidays, let’s ask the Lord to give us sensitivity to and compassion for those whose holidays may not be so happy.

Lord, I pray for those ladies who find the holidays challenging due to loss, disappointment or grief.  Help us all to call to mind the numerous evidences of Your goodness, faithfulness, provision and love.  Cause our hearts to be more grateful for what You have given than sad over what you have not given, or have taken.  I especially ask You to comfort those whose holidays will be the first since losing someone dear. Give us each eyes to see those around us that are hurting this holiday season.  May all our focus this year be more on the Giver than on what’s given, and on the Provider rather than on what hasn’t been provided.  We can only do this with Your help.  Thank you!

Posted by Sheree

Troubled Heart: School of Pain November 18, 2009

Today wraps up our series on having a troubled heart.  We pray it has helped you in your trouble to lean more dependently on Christ – our only comfort in such times.  The following is an excerpt from a sermon by J.R. Miller (1840-1912) titled, “Life’s Byways and Waysides”.  Read it carefully for it will be like a soothing salve on parched skin.

School of Pain

Everyone has sorrow. Being a Christian does not exempt anyone from grief. But faith in Christ brings a transformation of sorrow. Not only are we taught to endure the sorrows that come to us patiently and submissively–but we are assured that there is a blessing in them for us, if we accept them with love and trust.

One of the deepest truths taught in the Bible--is that earthly sorrow has a mission in the sanctifying of life. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. God disciplines us for our good–that we may share in His holiness.” Hebrews 12:10-11

We dread pain! And yet the person who has not experienced pain–has not yet touched the deepest and most precious meanings of life. There are things we never can learn–except in the school of pain! There are heights of life we never can attain–except in the bitterness of sorrow. There are joys we never can have–until we have walked in the dark ways of sorrow. Not to have sorrow, in some form, is to miss one of life’s holiest opportunities. We get our best things–out of affliction! “I have refined you in the furnace of suffering!” Isaiah 48:10

Father, thank you for reminding us of these truths.  You are God even in our trouble, and we can fully trust Your hand to lead us, guide us and hold us through it all.  May we grow in gratitude regardless of the external circumstances we’re facing.  Give us grateful hearts to praise You in the midst of the trouble.  Help us to “lift up our eyes above the trouble…”  In Jesus precious and powerful name, Amen!

Posted by Debi

Troubled Heart: Wanting Peace November 16, 2009

Our best planned days are often interrupted by the unexpected:

• A child gets hurt demanding our instant attention
• the washing machine breaks again requiring us to go to plan B just to finish the laundry (and there is no plan B!)
• dinner is cooking when a child gets sick causing us to forget about it – another meal ruined
• your potty-training two year old has one too many accidents and you’re tempted to let them stay in diapers until…

These are but a few examples of the everyday life of a Mom.  We are constantly on call whether we like it or not.  Our children demand our attention sometimes legitimately, and sometimes selfishly.  Either way if we don’t give it to them they will get louder and louder.  You may have a husband who helps you on days like these, or you may find yourself fatigued and discouraged because he doesn’t help you the way you would like.

Why is it life goes this way?  Why can’t we have one day where it all goes according to plan?  The answer is simple…we have a loving God who wants us to realize our dependence on Him.  Just like our children who say, “I can do it myself!”  We want to be able to proudly proclaim the same to God. However, this isn’t a life that glorifies God.  We want peace sometimes at all costs!  I remember the irony of yelling at my kids to “be quiet!” I was craving peace, but God, who is peace, was saying, “Debi, you’ll never have it apart from Me!  I am your peace!”

So, today, remember that peace comes from God, not from perfectly planned days that go according to your schedule.  This will help you cling to Him when the tension mounts, and you’re tempted to scream!

Posted by Debi

The Many Faces of… November 13, 2009

TROUBLE!

I remember my first experience with trouble as a “Mom” when I first became pregnant.  Within weeks I had a miscarriage and a flood of trouble came pouring into my unsuspecting soul; will I ever be able to have children?  If I do, will I survive the pregnancy and delivery?  What if the baby has serious birth defects?  These questions tempted me with all kinds of trouble.

Then I had my first baby – a boy – and I thought all my troubles were over!  Little did I know the trouble was attempting to take root.  At 10 months our son ended up in the hospital with a serious upper respiratory infection.  He began losing weight and my round the clock vigil began with trouble gladly keeping me company through the night.

One day our son, who had just started crawling, was playing in the kitchen.  He picked up a glass bowl, which I didn’t know he could do…and dropped it on the floor!  Glass shattered everywhere!  I quickly picked him up and moved him to the opposite side of the family room, so I could sweep up the mess, not knowing he was holding a sliver of glass in his hand.  A few minutes later he began to cry.  Trouble screamed my name when I saw blood coming from his little mouth!

Another serious temptation for trouble was watching the local news (still is – as a matter of fact!) – reports of child molesters, kidnappers and drug infested candy bars introduced me to a world of trouble!  I was beginning to think I would never have a moment without trouble again! Evil seemed to lurk all around me.

But God reminded me of the Truth which He spoke to Martha when her heart was troubled:

“But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”    Luke 10:41-42

In order to be free from the effects of a troubled heart, I must sit at my Savior’s feet and listen to His still small voice.  He wasn’t troubled by the storm, the death of a family member, an injury from an angry sword, or the accusations of fierce enemies.  And the good news is He cares for Moms who are afraid for the safety and well-being of their children.

Run to Jesus you who are troubled in Spirit and let Him hold you close and remind you of the Truth!  There you’ll find a “peace that passes all understanding”, and help for your troubled heart.

(NOTE:  I just received in my in box this morning Grace Gems titled, The Silent Christ, by J.R. Miller.   It follows along with our series about Troubled Hearts.  When you have time, it’s a must read for all!)

Posted by Debi

Troubled Heart:Trustworthy God November 9, 2009

Today we start a new series on a common occurrence we women face: having troubled hearts.

What is a “troubled” heart?  Some adjectives I came across for this very descriptive word are anxious; disturbed; weighed down; restless; fearful.  Do these words describe your heart at times?  They certainly do mine.

What most often tempts you to become anxious, disturbed or fearful?

• Financial worries?
• Health issues (yourself or your family)?
• Relational conflicts?
• Unsaved or spiritually disinterested family members?
• Delayed hopes or unanswered prayers?
• Ongoing weariness, fatigue and feeling overwhelmed with your responsibilities?

We can relate.  Our temptations are common.  Listen to these words written by the Psalmist thousands of years ago.

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me.  In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted.  When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints.  You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak (Ps 77:1-4).

Perhaps reading these words bring surprising relief because of how aptly this describes you right now.  Or maybe your heart is not troubled to this degree, but you are anxious and fretful.  Do you sometimes feel it’s not “right” to feel this way because of how much you have to be grateful for?  Do you hesitate mentioning your troubled heart to anyone because it seems like you’re the only one who has such struggles?

I have good news for you.  The man who wrote those words in Psalms was called “a man after God’s heart.”  He loved God.  He usually trusted God.  He had sinned in serious ways against God.  Yet he battled the common temptation to feel overwhelmed and troubled.  Having a troubled heart doesn’t mean you don’t love God.  The gospel provides you and I with hope that the One who Himself was a “man of sorrows and fully acquainted with grief” wants to lovingly help us through the dark times that come.

Let’s talk more about this on Wednesday.  Until then:

Lord, for those who are reading these words and are reminded of past days when their heart was troubled, thank you for this season of joy and gladness in their lives.  Use them, Lord, to bring comfort and love to those they know whose hearts are troubled.  But for those who are currently troubled, please remind them of Your nearness and help.  You are the trustworthy One who is not only eager to help, but who also has the power to help.  Thank you for the reminder that You are at work, even when our troubles multiply and we feel powerless to help ourselves.  In our weakness You are strong.  Always.

Posted by Sheree