Talking to God…About Our Husbands April 4, 2010

After a week off, we’re continuing our “talk” series by posting on talking to God, specifically about our husbands.

At our March Mom’s Meeting I spoke on praying for our husbands. I opened the message by saying that teachings on prayer have been some of those I anticipate and enjoy the least.  There is something about talking about prayer that produces a yukky feeling for me.

Frankly, my devotional life has been historically weak on prayer.  I love to worship, read and journal.  I would try to pray.  But within minutes my thoughts would drift and I found myself short on passion to linger in prayer.  But only more recently has prayer become something I think about consistently.  Throughout my life, I have too often reserved prayer either for “important” situations or spontaneous needs.  While vacuuming I would suddenly remember Benny was having an important meeting.  If he was struggling with discouragement, I would be drawn to pray fervently for him.  But regular, disciplined prayer for my husband has been a sad weakness for me as a wife.

As I’ve reflected on why this is true I’ve asked myself,  “Why?  Why is praying for my husband consistently still such a struggle for me?”  Most likely it’s because he is the most often object of my man-centered attempts to see change.

• I am more tempted to want to cajole or nag or manipulate him.

• When change doesn’t come on my timetable, I am too quick to fall into unbelief that things will be different.

• When his sin or weakness has consequences in others or my life, I battle (unsuccessfully at times) resentment or bitterness rather than extend hope that God is at work in his life.

In short, when it comes to my family I am more prone to anxiety, fear or impatience than I am with others.

Can you relate?  If so, there is good news for you and I.  While God commands us to pray, His providence isn’t dependent on our prayers.  And no matter how short or long you’ve been married, you and I can change by God’s grace!  In recent months as I have sought to make praying for Benny a more consistent expression of my love for Him and dependence on God, I have experienced growth!  I enjoy praying for him during my devotional times, while walking the dog or driving, and during those spontaneous moments when I suddenly remember he’s having an important meeting.

Perhaps praying for your husband is something you do on a regular basis.  If so, wonderful!  But if this is an area in your life that is, like me, one you would like to grow in then we trust our posts will provide you the hope for change we are experiencing.

Posted by Sheree

So When is the Last Time you Read a Book? April 29, 2009

The third deal Carolyn encouraged us to not miss help make our pursuit of mentoring relationships practical: the opportunity to devour good resources.

As women, our lives are full.  Whether you’re working outside the home while juggling homemaking responsibilities or are at home with one or more children, all our lives can feel frenzied at times.  And believe me, getting older doesn’t mean life slows down.  (Yes, my friends and I bought into that delusion when our kids were young!)  But Carolyn wisely cautioned us that feeding our souls is something we can’t afford to neglect.

Were you surprised to hear her say that just 15 minutes of reading a day will result in completing 10 substantial books a year?  I certainly was.  At times during my life I, like you perhaps, thought I didn’t  have time to read.  Job, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, caring for sick kids, meal planning, cooking, errands, church meetings, taking a meal to a new mom, carpooling kids around town for soccer or music lessons…whew…I’m tired just thinking about it!  Who has time to actually finish reading a whole book???  If I had $5 for every book I started over the years I could easily buy the new recliner I’d like to replace for the dingy one now sitting in my family room.

You see, mentoring doesn’t happen only face to face.  Some of the people who have participated in my own training and mentoring have done so from the pages of books.  In fact, many of them have been dead for years.  When I read I like to picture myself actually talking to the author.  (Maybe that’s why several years ago I had a dream about chatting with Charles Spurgeon about his book, The Triumph of Faith in the Believer’s Life. I knew I was dreaming when I realized we were talking while watching my of my kids basketball games!)

I was encouraged and convicted by Carolyn’s honest but affectionately growing concern about how many of us make time for the computer — facebook, email, researching, writing or reading blogs, online shopping, etc — but not for enriching our lives, our relationship with God and our pursuit of godly womanhood through reading things that feed our souls.

I have shared her concern…about myself and others.  In fact, a few months back I did a survey on technology use of Metro ladies in various seasons including teens, singles, young moms and older ladies.  After receiving about 25 responses, I was surprised to learn that the average amount of time spent for personal (i.e. not job or school related) technology use was just shy of 3 hours a day! Jesse, who oversees our youth ministry here at Metro, did another survey at a recent youth meeting where he found that some of our teens are texting well over 1,000 times a month.  Yes, you read it right.  Over 1,000 texts in about 30 days.

Are there benefits to technology?  Certainly.  But is the often aimless chatter that  social networking (facebook, twitter, cell phones, texting, im, email) involves resulting in exchanging temporal fun for eternal values?  I have been freshly convicted by how easily I give in to the lure to check my email “real quick” before I fold some laundry, start my devotions or load the dishwasher.  Before I know it, 45 minutes have flown by and the important has been sacrificed because “I got mail.”

Carolyn encouraged us to consider structures we need in our lives that make sure we are protecting what is most important.  Some things to prayerfully consider:

• Not allowing myself to turn on the computer until my devotions are done and at least one morning chore is begun or completed.
• Limiting myself to a certain amount of time per day on the computer.
• Choosing one day per week to avoid an aspect of technology (email, internet reseach or etc) to devote that time to extra time in worship, prayer or study/ reading.  For ideas and joining others who are doing this check out the initiative our youth ministry is implementing here. It’s called Tech-less Tuesdays and it provides excellent reading options to replace technology use every Tuesday.

One last thing.  As we consider using our time more wisely and take more seriously the need to feed our souls with biblical truth, let’s not confuse a godly principle with the desire to earn His favor.  As Christians, we will never be more accepted and loved by God as we are this very moment.  Whether you devote regular time to reading and studying scripture and biblically sound books or haven’t completed a book in years, your standing before God is based only on the finished work of Christ on the cross!  What amazing news!  Yet the real truth is that the pace of our growth in godliness is no doubt affected by the choices we make with our time.

Stop for a minute and ask yourself if there is anything that needs to change about how you use your time each day.  Is the time you spend on the computer, talking on the phone with friends, watching tv or pursuing hobbies detracting from consistent time growing in godliness?  If so, it may be time to humbly assess making some changes.

I’m doing this, too.

Posted by Sheree

Grace Gems April 10, 2009

Training our children is hard, but oh so necessary.  The following audio link from J.C. Ryle provides rich encouragement and motivation to continue doing the hard thing of requiring obedience from your children.  The clip is only three minutes, but worth hours of study if followed.  Have a blessed Easter weekend!

Today’s Puritan Audio Devotional
“Spoiled children!”
by J. C. Ryle
(provided by Grace Gems)

Posted by Debi

What About Older Children and First-Time Obedience? April 9, 2009

Today we conclude our questions from readers about disciplining and training our children with an excellent but sobering question from a mom of older children.

Also, be sure to check out tomorrows post as Debi brings us a Friday Favorite!

Question Four: Hi Sheree, I was wondering if you might comment, give hope, counsel, etc. for those of us who have older children who haven’t learned first time obedience yet.

Wow.  Just reading this question brings conviction and, to be honest, some mild temptations to discouragement.  As the mom of a soon-to-be thirteen year old with three of her six older siblings still at home, I’m aware of the frequency with which my kids seem to need reminders for things they’ve been asked to do.  Or times when their sinful responses tempt me with thoughts of “I thought we dealt with this when you were five.”  Somehow I thought that training them when they were little would produce young adults who would be habitually quick, cheerful and complete in their obedience.  “Surely by the time they’re teens,” I surmised, “life will be much easier because they’ll be so well trained!”  Such thoughts diminish when I look in the mirror….

Gratefully, life with my adult and young adult children is most frequently a blast.  We share a warm and loving relationship that brings more laughter, fulfillment, and joy than I could have imagined.  But they are still sinners.  They still have a battle with indwelling sin just like I do.  Laziness, selfishness, love of being served, procrastination, eagerness to do what they want instead of what they ought…all these things didn’t go away in their lives with all the spankings, introductions into their sin nature, and biblical truths taught over many years.

And if you didn’t know to train your children in cheerful, first-time obedience when they were young, your family has some making up to do.  This requires wisdom and patience… and God is eager and ready to grant grace to those who run to His throne in time of need!  If you’re getting a late start, don’t be dismayed.  God can do wonderful things in your family as you start to communicate and seek to glorify God in new ways!

I still have to remind my children (and myself!) to respond to directives in a timely fashion and with a pleasant attitude.  Two questions you’ll want to ask:  Is the lack of timely, respectful and willing responsiveness to my requests by this child characteristic or uncharacteristic of him/her?  Do all of my older children display these patterns, or is this something only one of them is regularly struggling with?

We’ve had to ask ourselves these questions about our children.  If we’re discussing a child who typically responds pleasantly and in a timely way to our requests, we will often just talk with him/her and share our observations about an uncharacteristic change in their behavior or attitude.  In this heart-to-heart exchange we try to ask questions prior to sharing our thoughts.  We may find they are struggling with discouragement over something; distracted or overwhelmed by school or work responsibilities; or simply unaware of their lack of recent responsiveness.  These factors, we learn, have contributed to a change in their attitude or behavior.  Sometimes the conversation is a brief one, leading to a willing admission and apology on their part.  Other times a more lengthy talk is required due to their proud resistance or sinful attitudes (i.e. self-pity, defensiveness, irritability, resistance to correction) which require time to lovingly — but firmly, when needed — address.  And other times we realize we’ve judged them and have jumped to self-righteous, wrong conclusions based on a few examples we misunderstood or misread which requires us soliciting their forgiveness.

If the child has a clear pattern of sullen, delayed, or “enough to get by” responses to our directives and leadership in the teen/young adult years we know we have some work to do, with God’s help.  A teen or young adult who is not growing in servanthood, willing responsiveness to our requests, respect, and diligence needs skillfull, loving and firm parental leadership. We have walked through this process, too, and it can be laced with temptations to weariness and discouragement.  As parents, we must start with our example.  Have I been modeling the responsiveness and cheerfulness I’m expecting from this child?  (Ouch.)  Am I looking for and communicating evidences of grace I’m observing in his/her life?  Have I allowed these sin patterns to go unaddressed in him/her for some time, and am now confronting them because I’ve become frustrated or exasperated?  After getting the log out of my own eye, and with Benny’s leadership and help, I can partner with him to remove the specks from our child’s eye.

If the issues you are facing are common among all/several of your children in the teen or young adult years, I would suggest that you talk with your husband about seeking counsel from a wise, older couple who knows your family and who can help you to discern how to proceed.  Young children can usually be helped and trained over time to change their attitudes and obey Mommy with a happy face.  Teens, however, are a different story.  They won’t usually “put on a happy face” unless not doing so is going to cost them something immediate (lost privilege, inability to participate in something they want to do, etc).  In such cases the “change of heart” isn’t typically heart-related at all.  It’s simply a way to get what they want.

When you get with these counselors, you’ll need to ask probing and difficult questions to get real help.  Here are some suggestions:

• Here is what we are seeing in our child(ren).  Have you seen this in them, too?  If so, give us some examples of (their lack of respect, sullenness, lack of quick or cheerful responses to our directives, disobedience, etc) that you’ve wondered about or observed?
• Are there any sin tendencies in us you’ve wondered about or observed that could be contributing to these patterns in them (inconsistency with discipline or training in their younger years, poor parental example, lack of teamwork as husband and wife, relying on self-effort rather than God’s grace and help, backing off from training and discipleship as they got older, etc)?
• What advice would you give us to help us and our children make progress in these areas?
• Would you kindly help us?  Tell us when you see these patterns in us/our children in the future?  Pray for us?  Perhaps meet with us again/regularly for help and counsel?
• You can prayerfully, and with great faith toward God for help and change, then discuss with your husband and perhaps a close friend or two:  What will repentance and change look like in our family from this point?

As you deal with the heart issues in you and your child(ren) please remember to trust God in faith.  He is at work in you!  He can help you and your children!  He is not finished with your 13-year-old (or 16-year-old or 22-year-old) any more than He is finished with you (and me!).

We close this week with the closing words from Don’t Make Me Count to Three.  I pray these words will bring you fresh hope as you tackle helping your older children grow in godliness:

“Training our children in righteousness is a process, but God promises that just like laboring in a garden, we will reap what we sow.  Let us keep on sowing the seeds of righteousness.  I can think of no better garden to plant those seeds in than in the soil of my children’s hearts.  To God be the Glory.”

Amen.

Rewarding the Hard Things our Kids Do April 1, 2009

Here’s another “repeat” from our 2007 series on Child Training. As moms, we have to remember that our kids do hard things, too.  First-time obedience, respect, cheerfulness, diligence…all things in which we should rightly train them and expect from them…are not easy for them (or us as adults)!  In order to help our children to do hard things, we have to resist the temptation to simply expect them to do what is right.  Rather, we need to skillfully train them, yes with consistent discipline, but also with clear instruction, role playing and rewards.

While consistently and lovingly disciplining your children, two things are very important:  clarity and consistency.  Often children don’t respond quickly, completely and cheerfully either because it hasn’t been clearly explained what is expected of them or they are allowed to get away with things one day and not the next.

There are two things as a mom of small children that helped our family greatly:  role play and rewards.

When the kids were young we regularly used role play to teach them specifically what we were looking for.  For example:

• When we were teaching them to look in people’s eyes and greet them by using their name, we acted it out for them.  “Ok, honey you pretend to be Mrs. Smith and I’ll pretend to be you.  We’re at the Sunday meeting and you walk up and say hi to me, ok?”  As my toddler walks up to me (I’m on my knees at her eye level) and says hello I look directly in her eyes, smile and cheerfully say, “Hi Mrs. Smith!”  Then we switch roles. I stand up and become the adult while coaching her through her response.

• Teaching them to respond verbally and behaviorally to our directives meant showing them what cheerful, immediate obedience looked like.  Once again, I would switch roles with them by getting onto the floor with their toys and then telling them to pretend they were Mommy asking me to put the toys away.  When “Mommy” spoke I quickly looked up, said “OK, Mommy” in a cheerful voice, and then started putting the toys away energetically.  Then we went back to our roles and tried this again.

Role playing helps young children to see what Mommy and Daddy are looking for.  It also gives parents the peace of knowing that when your commands are not obeyed quickly and cheerfully, it’s not because the children don’t understand — it’s because they are disobeying.

Encouragement and rewards are also helpful (and Biblical!) tools for training young children to obey.  The scripture teaches about putting off sin and putting on godliness.  Disciplining our children helps them to put off disobedience and sinful attitudes.  Encouragement and rewards motivate them to put on a heart to obey.

Here is my favorite suggestion.  You may have other ideas that will work better for your family, but this one worked well for us:

• Decide on a character quality to focus on: obeying quickly, cheerfulness, unselfishness (sharing), not interrupting, truth telling, or etc.  Make a chart with this word/phrase at the top and squares filling up the page.  (Fewer large squares for young toddlers, more smaller ones for older toddlers.)  Explain to your child that each time he doesn’t obey the first time (or whatever you choose) he will be disciplined.  BUT when he obeys the first time he can put a sticker (or check mark) on his “Obeying Quickly” chart.  When he fills up all the squares Mommy and Daddy will…(fill in the blank; our children loved going to Baskin Robbins for an ice cream cone!).  These charts were always on our refrigerator and we had fun rejoicing over every sticker!

We can keep from exasperating our children with consistent discipline by drawing attention to their attempts to obey.  Making sure we’ve clearly communicated our expectations on a level they can understand and then commending them for their responsiveness can go a long way in training them to obey — quickly, cheerfully and completely.

Posted by Sheree

First-Time Obedience March 31, 2009

Two years ago we did some posts on disciplining and training children.  Because these truths are ones that moms of young children need to be reminded of, we decided to repeat a couple of those posts for the rest of this week.  Whether or not you were visiting our blog back in April 07, we pray these posts will be encouraging and helpful.

I just returned from 2 delightful (and tiring…smile) days with three of my grandchildren.  While there, I noticed the following 1888 quote from J.C. Ryle that my daughter posted near her kitchen sink:

“Train with an eye to your children’s souls.  We are made what we are by training. Our character takes the form of what mold into which our first years were cast.  The path of obedience is the way in which He gives blessing.  Determine to make your children obey you, though it cost you much trouble, and cost them many tears.  The mark of well-trained children is that they do whatsoever their parents command them – cheerfully, willingly and at once.”

Wow.  Sound impossible?  Toddlers who obey cheerfully?  Willingly?  Immediately?  Yes, it’s a high goal.  But it’s attainable.  Children who are trained at a young age — through patience, encouragement, clear instruction and role playing, and consistent discipline — can become children who obey Daddy and Mommy immediately and with a cheerful attitude.  Really!

First time obedience is of critical importance.  A toddler should be taught to respond quickly to her parent’s voice and command.  Remember, your 3-year-old will be 16 before you know it!  Consider the respect and deference to your values and decisions that you would like to see in him then and don’t fool yourself into thinking today’s delayed obedience or disobedience won’t become tomorrow’s adolescent willfulness.  Today’s whining leads to tomorrow’s ungratefulness and discontent.  And toddler arguing can easily become teen in-your-face rebellion.

Moms, follow the tested advice of a man who said over a century ago to train your children to obey you.  Yes, it will cost you.  You will have to be consistent in your discipline.  Yes, it will cost your children.  It will be painful.

• Make sure you are clear. Tell your child mommy wants her/him to obey immediately and with a cheerful attitude.  Delayed obedience should be treated as disobedience.  (I found it helpful with my children to not interrupt them with an expectation of immediate obedience when they were engaged in something, but to say, “Honey, in just a minute Mommy will ask you to put away your toys.  Get ready to obey quickly and with a cheerful attitude!”  Then I could expect them to respond quickly and cheerfully or be disciplined.)
• Encourage!  Encourage!  Encourage! When your child obeys immediately and with a good attitude, give warm and expressive encouragement.  Regular discipline without regular encouragement can frustrate and tempt a child.  Plus, encouraging our children is a reminder to us that they are making progress.
• Be consistent. Requiring first-time obedience today and giving 3 warnings tomorrow is unkind and confusing to your child.  Talk with your husband and pick one or two things to begin to discipline your toddler(s) for and then be consistent.  Better to be consistent with a few things than to be inconsistent with many.  With young toddlers just starting with something simple like, “Come to Mommy” (i.e. for a diaper change, to get into the high chair for a meal, to get into the carseat) might be a good beginning.
• Role play and reward. More about this tomorrow.

Maybe you’d like to copy Mr. Ryle’s quote to put in a visible place in your home, too.

Posted by Sheree

Help Needed March 30, 2009

If you have ever attempted to train a child, you learn very quickly that it is a HARD THING!   There really isn’t anything easy about it.  It takes effort, action and purpose on my part.  This is in direct opposition to my flesh.  My flesh wants things to be easy & comfortable.

Melodye did a great job instructing us at our last Mom’s meeting.  If you weren’t able to make it, be sure to listen online (link found in the right column.)  There were so many things that spoke directly to me.  But one point that she made really stood out.  Even as I looked back over my notes, I am convicted once again.  She said,

“Our weakness will never keep us from God as much as our strength will.”

OUCH…How often do I rely on my own strength to get it all done (often failing miserably), instead of utilizing His strength?  This is the result of my ever present Self-Sufficiency and Pride – which make me think I can make it on my own and deceive me into thinking I am “okay” without time with God each day.  Too often, I neglect the One Who can help me.  It is easy to run to the Lord when I feel weak and desperate, but when I feel “strong” I am not so quick to run to Him.  The Lord is really working on my heart in this area.  I see glimpses of change, yet I long for a true heart change.

How about you?  Is your strength keeping you from God?

Lord, help me to be a woman, like Mary, who chose to spend time at your feet, instead of being like Martha, who was busy all the time.  I need YOUR strength each and every day.  Help me to be dependent on You so I may train my children in a way that glorifies You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Posted by Stephanie

More on Hard Things about Parenting March 26, 2009

Continuing with Melodye’s message last week, she addressed why child rearing is a “hard thing”:

“Why is training and disciplining my children so hard??  Because we want an easy life.  We want things to go as we plan; easy and without a fight.  When things don’t go the way we think they should, or our children don’t respond the way we want or as quick as we would like them to then we have conflict. What makes training our children hard is our will.  We want control and when we don’t get it we give in to anger and critical judgments. I need to be more interested in my children’s soul than my convenience.”

Melodye honestly admitted what most of us only think to ourselves.  We simply want obedient, respectful and cheerful children without much effort.  Simply put, we know our children are sinners, but we just don’t want them to sin so much!  Occasional selfishness, ungratefulness, sibling arguments, interrupting, whining and angry outbursts are…well…understandable.  But every day?  Sometimes numerous times a day?  And our faith in whether or not we’re doing a good job wavers depending on if they’re responding…or not.

Let’s remember that training, disciplining and nurturing children is hard work the Lord commands us to do. Our efforts matter.  We can’t simply think, “It’s all up to God anyway so why should I invest so much effort into teaching and training them?”  That kind of unbiblical thinking isn’t pleasing to the One who gave them to us to train up in His ways and Who provides clear teaching in scripture to do so.  However, our efforts don’t matter as much as the work only He can do in their hearts.

Here’s a reminder from Melodye:

We tend to look at families with “good” children and think the parents did a good job, then look at families with disobedient children and assume they did a poor job parenting.  If we do this to others we will do it to ourselves.  We can’t judge parenting solely on the behavior of the kids.

Are you tempted toward self-congratulations because your kids are “better” than others?  More quick to obey?  Less wild and have more self-control?  Or are you quick to wish your kids were like the children I just described?  Do you feel like a failure as a mom because your children rarely obey the first time?  Are wild and lack self-control?

In either case, please remind yourself of the gospel.  Perhaps you are experiencing fruit from months or years of consistently training and disciplining your children, or are experiencing the consequences of not doing so.  Or maybe you are working hard to consistently train them with God’s help, but the fruit is not yet evident. After all, we want to obey God without conditionally doing so only if we see results.   Remind yourself regularly that God is the only one who can change their hearts and save them from their sin.  Depending on their age, you may be successfully or unsuccessfully modifying their behavior but what truly matters is what is happening in their hearts…and only God knows and can change that.

Lord, please give me the strength and wisdom to work hard at training my children.  Help me to be consistent and faithful to obey your just commands as a mom with Your strength and power.  But thank you for reminding me that only You can work in their hearts.  Please annoint my efforts with Your power and grace to see each of my children to see their need for a Savior to forgive them of their sins and to empower them to live godly lives.  Thank you for the promise of Your help!  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Five Obstacles to Doing Hard Things in the Training of our Children March 25, 2009

Continuing with Melodye’s message from last week’s Mom’s Meeting, she developed Five Ways We Fail at Doing Small Hard Things from the Harris brothers.  As you read, maybe the specific application she used doesn’t apply to your life, but I’m sure her examples will stir what these sin patterns look like in your motherhood.

1.  Procrastination

• I’ll start working on that issue in Johnny tomorrow.
• I was up too late last night to start the day dealing with her anger; I’ll tackle it next time.  It won’t hurt to let it go this one time.
• I think I’ll just close the door and not look at that mess until I have another cup of coffee!  It will still be there tomorrow!

2.  Inconsistency

• I disciplined her for disrespect yesterday but I just don’t have the time to stop and deal with it right now.
• If I stopped and dealt with her selfishness every time I saw it I’d never get anything done around here!

3.  Compromise

• I know I should correct her for that outburst but Sally hasn’t been feeling well and I don’t think she meant to do that.
• He knows not to get out of bed but he’s been a little fearful lately.
• I know my child should be sharing but he seems to always be the one who’s giving up what he wants.
• I’ve tried to get my daughter to greet others but she is just so shy.

4.  Begrudging

• I’ll stay home with these sick kids tonight even though I’ve been inside this house all week long!
• How many times do I have to deal with these attitudes in a day?!
• It would sure be nice to go out to dinner tonight instead of cooking.  I feel like I’ve been in the kitchen all day.

5.  Cheating

• I’m so glad my kids put on a good show for everyone tonight and didn’t disobey like they usually do.
• I’m glad they didn’t act like they do when we’re at home alone!
• I guess my parenting skills aren’t so bad after all!

I would encourage you to read over this list again.  Whenever we receive the gift of conviction over sin patterns in our lives, we are experiencing God’s grace.  Don’t rush through this post.  Stop and ask the Lord to show you if these patterns are there in your parenting…then remind yourself that with the realization that you are sinning comes a greater awareness of God’s forgiveness and power to change.

Lord, please show me what sin patterns in my life hinder me from doing the small things that godly motherhood requires.  I love my children so dearly, and I don’t want unconfesseed sin in my life to keep me from consistently training them.  I’m asking for your help…first to see my sin and then to turn from it.  Thank you for the promise of Your power and help!

Posted by Sheree

Doing Hard Things in the Training of our Children March 23, 2009

At our Mom’s Meeting last Thursday Melodye Jones did an excellent message in our continuing Do Hard Things for Moms series.  Her message was warm, inspiring and convicting all at the same time!  In her introductory thoughts, Melodye honestly communicated about the “hard thing” of raising children:

“I know many of you have heard many teachings on the practical ‘how to’ of training your children.   We have a wealth of resources in our bookstore on the practical side of parenting.  Today I want to focus on why it’s so important but also what makes it so hard. My flesh hates hard things!  I want to run in the opposite direction! I want things to be easy and controllable because it makes my life more pleasant. Left to myself I would much prefer a life of ease and comfort.”

If you weren’t there to hear this helpful message, I would encourage you to take some time this week to listen.  The link to the message is to your right under “March 2009.”

For the rest of the week I will communicate the highlights of the message.  If you’re like me, you’ve already forgotten much of what you heard!  In order to effectively apply teaching, we need to go back to it…sometimes over and over.

But before we start considering ways to grow in consistently training our children, let’s remember that the primary One responsible for our children is God.  He is the only one who can change their hearts.  Our training and discipline matters and the Bible commands certain things of us as parents.  Our faithfulness to obey God, however, is not the most important aspect of their salvation and growth in godliness.

My concern for young moms  is that you will fall into the same temptation I battled when my children were small.  I put more weight on what I did than was biblical.  I knew I needed to look to God, but too often I leaned on my efforts to the neglect of deep dependence on Him.  So as we walk through this child training series, please remind yourself regularly that the commands of God are accompanied by the grace to fulfill them as we put our trust in God to do His critical part as we humbly do our lesser part.  Lord, thank you for Your promise to help us!

Posted by Sheree