Final Interview with Colleen Hufford April 11, 2008

Question #6 – As a seasoned homemaker, what final word of advice do you have for younger homemakers and why? 

My word of advice is to realize now that we never arrive, we are called to enjoy the process of learning.  Our walk in home management is so much like our walk with God; everyday is a new day to learn more about God and our home.   There should never be condemnation for our mistakes, but a time to enjoy the excitement of learning more and watch how God redeems our efforts when we come up short.   I have tried many techniques of time management over the years.  I get really tickled thinking about the index cards I used in the 80’s that reminded me what to do each day to clean my home.  Now, there are computerized versions that help out a lot, like FlyLady, that e-mails household assignments daily. 

The process of learning keeps us ever seeking new ideas for home management.  We have to remember to enjoy our families and the tasks that are required to serve our families.  This is not a job, but a lifestyle.    I still enjoy my home and love to accomplish those things that bring joy to Bill as well as my grown children.  We have had the grandchildren for several days at a time to serve my son and his wife.  Even though it is exhausting, there is always a smile on my face the following day.

We are always growing – not just older, but by God’s sanctifying grace at work in our lives, WISER!

Colleen, we would like to thank you so much for sharing such wonderful and practical suggestions that hopefully will serve us for years to come.  You are a godly example of how to spend your life doing the things that matter most.  May God richly bless your “Open Nest” season with your semi-retired husband! 

Interview With Colleen Hufford, continued April 10, 2008

Question #5 - You have been an example of hospitality to many.  What fuels your desire to open your home to others, and what advice do you have for us to pursue hospitality even with our busy lives as moms of young children?

The definition of hospitality is giving hospitable treatment or reception.  As an adjective, hospitable means promising or suggesting generous and cordial welcome or offering a pleasant or sustaining environment.  Hospitality is more than opening your home; it is making people feel comfortable.  When I dated Bill, his family was always hospitable, and I was drawn to his family because of his family’s kind disposition.

From the moment we were married, we opened our home to others.  Bill has always encouraged me to learn the skill sets needed to host birthday parties, showers, events, weddings (in our back yard) and school functions.  The methods used in practicing hospitality would change as our kid’s lives changed.

I think mothers with young children can pursue hospitality with others and let the children be a part of the preparation for the event.  Have them help with the invitations and the decorations.  Instead of elaborate meals with all the crystal and sterling, great menus with outdoor barbecuing is in order.  Don’t get so involved in providing hospitality that you can’t enjoy the rich fellowship of having others over.  Remember that being a friend is the most important part of hospitality. 

Creating an environment for a cordial welcome is just opening the door to what God desires to do through you using the home you have made for your husband and children. 

Interview with Colleen Hufford, continued April 9, 2008

Question #4 – What one thing about being a “worker at home” has remained constant through the changing seasons in your life?

I asked Bill to help answer this question, since we have been married 39 years this summer. Together we agreed, that being flexible and willing to change quickly as life changed, has been the one constant in my life. We have had seasons of plenty and seasons of scarcity. When Bill was in graduate school in our first years of marriage, I was working on a slim budget. I decided to try sweet and sour tuna. That was the only time in our marriage that he asked me not fix that entrée again. You can only do so much with tuna. So I was gladly “flexible”!

We should embrace every season with joy, not looking ahead or behind, but enjoying the now. Whether you are decorating your four- year old daughter’s room or your daughter’s first home, what great opportunities we have to enjoy our daughters? I have had a revolving door at times as my children lived with us during changes in their lives. One moment they are young children living with you, and then suddenly you have adult children living with you. You do things differently, but there is joy to be found in each season.

You may ask what is next? The answer is changing to learn how to love and enjoy managing an empty nest!!!

Editor’s Note: I (Debi) recently read on the Radical Womanhood blog about Carolyn McCulley’s visit to Sovereign Grace’s church in Charlotte, N.C.. She heard a new term for “Empty Nest” that so impressed her she blogged about it when she returned home. Find out what it is here!

Interview with Colleen Hufford, continued April 8, 2008

Question #3 – What practical homemaking tips have you used for years that we can steal?

1. A Cleaning schedule – I think FlyLady.com is an excellent source of getting started with housekeeping. I love their perspective and lightness in execution. They have what they call 27 Boogey. Pick up 27 items and put them away. I will get behind in housework and yell 27 Boogey. Off I go, picking up everything in my sight. Bill follows behind me and asks if shoes count as one or two? He says, “If you lay something down, can you count it twice when you pick it up?” I think he is having way too much fun with semi-retirement!

2. Home Management - Every item in your home needs a home. You only have to touch an item once to get the item back to its home. No, the dining room table is not the home for everything.

3. Time Saving Tips with Meal Preparations:

a) I asked my family to tell me their favorite meals.
b) I made 4 weekly menu plans from their favorites. (Each week consisted of five meals: one crock-pot meal; one oven meal; one quick meal; one that could be used for company, if needed; and one that could be doubled and frozen for later.
c) On the back of the menu plan, I made the entire grocery list for the week.

d) Place your menu plans in plastic sleeves.

e) Grab one of your weekly plans when you’re heading to the grocery store and you can come home easily with a week’s worth of groceries. This has saved me so much time and money even during the years I carpooled the kids everywhere. It’s important to note that I raised my kids without cell phones!

My motto is if an item doesn’t serve me, out it goes; if I have to dust it and not love it, then good-bye!

Our First Interview April 7, 2008

This week we’re doing something we’ve never done before on the Metro Moms Blog – interview one of our more seasoned moms for her advice to us in the area of Domesticity. Colleen Hufford has been a member of Metro Life church since the early ’90′s. She and her husband, Bill, have served our church as homegroup leaders non-stop for years. They have two grown children, and two beautiful granddaughters. Colleen has a degree in Home Economics so her expertise in this area stems from both experience and formal education. We hope you will glean wisdom from her timely advice.

Question #1: What do you think are the primary responsibilities of a devoted homemaker?

First, before I answer this question, it will help us to define the terms:

Devoted means to center the attention or activities of oneself to a particular use.

Homemaker according to Webster 1963 is one who manages a household, especially as a wife and mother.

When you look at both of those definitions, we have to ask ourselves, “What do I need to do to prepare myself for managing a household? What else do I need to do to be dedicated, consecrated and hallowed, which are other synonyms of devoted?” We must realize that only the Word of God can give us the ability to sustain the devotion we need to fulfill this mission.

Second, there needs to be an awareness of skills that we should strive for in order to manage a household well. There are many aspects of home management. For example, we need to have an understanding of finances and an ability to be disciplined in managing our finances in times of plenty or in times of need and also to rejoice in both; Nutrition and food preparation are valuable to give our loved ones good health, as well as providing a wonderful means that promotes lively conversations over dinner; Keeping a home well organized not only for ourselves, but to serve our husband, is important in keeping our homes a sanctuary for our family, a place where they can truly be relaxed and refreshed; Personal grooming and keeping ourselves attractive and fresh, allows us to bless and cultivate the love we have for our husbands; Keeping the house clean and sanitary helps ward off sickness and disease. Learning to enjoy our children by recognizing the privilege we have of shaping their lives in Godliness and preparing them academically.

Being a Devoted Homemaker is a high calling! The point is we have to manage ourselves before we can manage others. What a joy to realize that as God changes us personally He allows us to influence our whole household.

Question #2: Homemakers seem to fall into the “rather cook” or “rather clean” categories. Do you agree? If so, what encouragement would you offer to women who are tempted to avoid one over the other?

Yes, I agree. In looking at the definition of a homemaker (see Question #1), we must realize that we should pursue excellence in all aspects of home management. We may have some areas of gooey grace (that sticky buns recipe), but we cannot forget the fact that a messy kitchen shows that we have not finished cooking.

For example, I will never forget the time when I did a great job of folding laundry and had several baskets full as evidence of the fact. However, Bill reminded me that laundry is not truly finished until it is folded AND in the drawer! Managing a household is finishing to the end whatever needs to be done. That means we may have preferences in our lives, but the excitement comes when we conquer those areas we don’t “like to do” as God, by his grace, gives us His strength to overcome our weakness. Then, not only is our family blessed, but God receives the glory!

Faithful and Free April 3, 2008

For the last several weeks, I have been pretty much without a computer. Mine was being repaired and our only other one is my husband’s laptop. So, except when he was home (he travels a lot) and I had spare time, I was computerless. Needless to say, I haven’t been posting much. I have tried to think about what my one thing in this area would be, and I keep coming back to being faithful in the little things. My “one thing” for this year is being purposeful, and I think this ties into my life at home as well.

Along with everyone else, I know that the way I manage my time is significant. It could be anything from too much time on the computer to not enough time training my children or planning my menus. One area in which I have started to make changes in is my house cleaning. I love to clean my whole house in one day so everything is all clean at once. However, homeschooling and small children make this pretty impractical for me at this time in my life. So, I have determined to do different things on different days.

• Mondays are laundry and dusting
• Tuesdays are bathrooms
• Wednesdays are floors, etc.

Obviously other things are going on during those days, but the main point is that my major tasks each have a specific day. This may seem oversimplified to you, but it is really helpful to me at this stage in my life. This way I know that when Wednesday night rolls around and people are coming to my home for homegroup, hopefully my house will be presentable. As a side note, “presentable” is very relative right now since we are living in a house that is in the beginning stages of a complete renovation; nothing ever really looks nice. Presentable means clean and picked up, but certainly not pretty.

The other part of this process that I like is it gives me a better opportunity to train my children in these areas as opposed to trying to do it all at one time. They each have certain responsibilities. I can teach them how to do things, and then check on them to make sure they are done correctly. The checking and redoing are the most important part. Hopefully one day they will be able to do these things on their own and do them well. At least this is what others have told me happens one day.

Right now for me to be purposeful and diligent in this area is completing what is on my schedule before I do other things. As you know that isn’t as easy as it sounds! But when I am faithful to do this, then I am free to do other things which the Lord has called me to do this day.

Found Faithful April 2, 2008

I want to be found faithful on that day.

Faithful in the little things.

Faithful in the things that no one sees.

Faithful in the pursuit of my Savior.

Faithful in finding joy in my children.

Faithful in honoring and respecting my husband.

Faithful even in the laundry and other mundane things during the day.

The Lord has lavished on me so many amazing blessings ~ I want to be found faithful in what he has given me.

Today for me that will look like keeping my laptop lid closed once my kids are up. Focusing on one thing at a time in our home. By God’s grace and strength being diligent with my time at home. Not being lazy and doing the things I should do before the things I want to do.

Yesterday during worship we sang a song called “The Stand” that is my prayer this morning. I am grateful for the winds of conviction blowing through my heart now. I will be honest, it has not been pretty or neat. It has made a bit of a mess, but the Gospel answers to that mess and sin that is being revealed in my heart. The Lord is so kind to patiently reveal to me and remind me of his calling on my life! Take some time this morning and allow the Lord to minister to you through this video of this worship song by Hillsong United:

A Plan for Practical Change April 1, 2008

Well, the Lord is definitely drawing my heart to change. But it isn’t easy. Yet, I can already see how He is giving me the desire to be more consistent in the way I care for my home.

My practical plan for change is to get on a better schedule. I have regularly cleaned on Tuesday and/or Wednesday to be ready for Home Group on Wednesday nights, but I think if I have a better plan for what I do each day, my week would run more smoothly and I could be more consistent.

The next few weeks are bound to be interesting, as our baby should be arriving any time. But I want to use this time to come up with a plan to implement soon after her arrival. It is something my husband and I have already been talking about – now is the time to create a plan and then be faithful to carry it out.

I can’t remember if I have posted about this already, but Chris and I have sensed the Lord has been leading our family to focus on two things this year – Strategize and Simplify. This includes everything from our closets and possessions (we have already had a big garage sale to help in those areas!) to our schedules. We are just trying to reevaulate what we are doing, what we have. Basically as Benny spoke in his message on Sunday – what are we doing with the “talents” (gifts, possessions and abilities) that God has given us? We want to make sure that our home is in order so that we are more free to serve. It is going to be a journey and won’t be done overnight. But we know that if this is what the Lord has called us to do, He will give us the grace to accomplish it for His glory!

Lord, I pray that You will help us as we endeavor to obey what we sense You are calling us to do. Help us to Strategize and Simplify our lives and our home so that we are in a position to serve You and Your church more effectively. Help me to see that my daily choices play a big part in this and give me the grace to see where change is needed. Thank You for Your patience toward us! In Your name, Amen.

The Winds of Conviction March 31, 2008

Good Morning Metro Moms! If you have missed our discussion on Domesticity the past couple of weeks, we would like to encourage you to take some time to catch up. It’s amazing how when the Holy Spirit hones in on an area of correction in our lives that we hear about it everywhere we go. The winds of conviction are certainly blowing through our church. This morning at Metro’s celebration service Benny Phillips preached from Matthew 24 on three of Jesus’ parables: The Faithful Servant, The Ten Virgins and The Talents. We are learning so much about Nominalism and its effect on our church and the church at large. Benny taught that this passage is clear that there will be a Day of Reckoning where we will have to give an account on three specific things:

• Our Faithfulness

• Our Preparedness

• Our Fruitfulness

It was a powerful exhortation, that left many of us on our knees in repentance. If you missed the message click here and follow the link under “Recent Messages. Be ready for the Winds of Conviction. What a gift of the Holy Spirit when our hearts are laid bare by the Word of God, for this is when change begins.

This week we are going to continue talking about our role in the home, but with more practical applications as to how we can change. What will it take to assure change in my life? I mentioned that I stay busy in my home doing the things that I want to do, rather than doing what is most important. As a way of being accountable, I confessed to my husband my lack of faithfulness in this area. I am committing to get my housework completed before I sit down to check my e-mails and read blogs. This has become a huge time waster for me, keeping me from tending to the needs of my family. As Benny said this morning, ‘We know not the hour when the Master will return.” I want to be found like the five virgins who had completed all they were supposed to do and were prepared when the Bridegroom was delayed. Instead of trying to make up for the time lost because of my unfaithfulness like the other five virgins. I have hope because Christ has given me a Helper – The Holy Spirit that lives within me!

Father, thank You for Your patience towards me. You lovingly compel me to change and then, help me to not forget. Thank You for the many ways You are speaking the same word over and over, so that I don’t miss it. May I no longer excuse my laziness and irresponsibility, but see the importance of doing what You are asking of me. Only eternity will tell how I have done. I pray that You will help me to serve my husband, family and church with a diligence and passion that is sincere and rightly motivated. I need You to accomplish this. Thank You for the gift of conviction, for once I confess my sin to You – I have hope for change, because You have made a way through the Cross of Christ, and it is in His Name that I pray, Amen!

Not An Option! March 27, 2008

It seems that for most of the contributing writers of this blog, we are all facing a similar “one thing” to pursue;  that is doing what we should be doing with our time rather than what we want to do with our time.

So now that we’ve confessed our need, is that it?  Is confession and the realization of our need to change sufficient to bring about the change we realize God is after?  Absolutely not!  Confession is just the beginning of mortifying a pattern of ongoing sin.  I have battled laziness all my life.  As I’ve grown older I just get better at justifying why I do what I do.  What will it take to offset this cycle?  Radical measures to be sure.   I must realize that this sin is what required Christ to suffer and die on the Cross.  I must see that this sin brings God great sorrow.  And I must hate this sin because of the previous two reasons!

This is a faithful reminder to talk to someone about your desire to change in this area.  Make a list of steps that are obtainable and make sure that you do them.  And most of all commit your ways to the Lord;  He is the only one who is able to change our hearts as we yield to the Holy  Spirit’s conviction.

We would love to hear from you, and what the ONE THING is that God is having you mortify.  Posting a comment on this blog is a sure way to invite the input of others – are you ready for that?  We pray so!  May we all be ready to open our lives in such a way that makes change a certainty rather than an option.