Anger: What am I craving? June 28, 2007

"All our desires and passions are like an armed camp within us, ready at a moments notice to declare war against anyone who stands in the way of some personal gratification on which we have set our hearts."  This quote from J.A. Motyer rings so true for me.  Many times, on a moments notice, I find myself angry at my children — when only moments before all seemed well.  Yes, there is something I am craving that I am not getting.  It might be peace, or order or quiet.  Maybe it’s gratitude or just complete, cheerful, immediate obedience all the time (it doesn’t hurt to dream).  Whatever it is, I sinfully react to my children at times when I do not get what I am craving.  My anger is, as Jenny Detweiler said, "a self-focused response to something I crave." 

I never really looked at this as forfeiting joy.  But truly I am forfeiting the joy the Lord has for me when I give in to my sinful cravings and allow myself to become angry with my children.  I keep thinking about what Jenny shared about wanting my desire to be for my children to fear God and not me.  I do not want to be a stumbling block to them, but instead want to point them to the Lord for their obedience.  It is very helpful to me to do as she said and prepare for temptation.  I know that today and tomorrow my children will disobey in many ways.  So, what am I going to do when this does happen….  Respond sinfully in anger or put on humility and forgiveness ?  By God’s grace, I pray that more often I will put off my anger and glorify Him in my response. 

I know my children will continue to give in to their temptations to sin, just as I do against my heavenly Father.  I pray I will be able to show them the grace that He so abundantly lavishes on me and begin to ignite joy in my heart instead of continuing to forfeit the joy He has for me.

Posted by Elyse