Love Bears, Believes, Hopes, Endures All Things October 10, 2008

Today we finish our look at 1 Corinthians and its application to marriage with these powerful words:  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

How many times have I heard these words read at weddings!  When Benny is not officiating the ceremony, I love such moments because we can move closer and clasp hands…rejoicing in the gift of marital love and anticipating all the happy couple has to look forward to.  Many times we even get to slow dance at the reception, and add our bubbles to hundreds of others as we send off the glowing couple driving away for a romantic honeymoon.

Then we go home.  The house is untidy.  Laundry has to be moved from the washer to the dryer.  The dog has to be walked…quickly.  The music and candles are gone.  The kids are wondering about dinner (how can they be hungry???).  He wonders if I remembered to pick up the dry cleaning.  Suddenly I’m tired; feeling pulled by people and duties; craving quiet and candles and music…

This is when what we think really affects how we live.

•    Love bears all things:  When I’m tired of being a sinner, and living with a sinner.  When he isn’t changing as quickly as I would like.  When he disappoints or hurts me again.
•    Love believes all things:  When he’s more confident in his decision than I am.  When my trust in God’s sovereign control over our marriage, finances, children and future is brought into question in my heart.  When I’m in unbelief over the future of our marriage and the necessary changes to grow.
•    Love hopes all things:  When I’m weary and discouraged at patterns in our marriage not changing.  When I want to get mad or lecture him about how his sin is affecting me, but I sense the need to remind him (and myself) of the gospel.  When I see him struggling and don’t know how to help him.
•    Love endures all things.  When conflict and tension are sapping my faith and exposing both our sin.  When our family experiences the consequences of poor decisions he has made.  When I am tired and lacking motivation to continue to lay down my life for the man God gave me to help.

Love does all these things.  All the time?  Without fail?  No.  But please don’t think your recurring temptations are because your husband is more of a sinner than your friend’s husband.  As a pastor’s wife who has close friendships with lots of other pastor’s wives — all married to wonderful godly men you probably respect — please know your struggles are common.  It’s not about who we are married to, but who we are.  We all sin and we all remain in need of a Savior; One who has promised He will finish what He started when He saved us from the wrath of God as penalty for our sins.

Paul has given us quite a curriculum for being godly wives, hasn’t he?  I pray you will take the time soon to review these truths and come up with one thing you need to do in response to it all.  And when you do, take your one thing to the cross where you will find all the help, grace, power, faith and strength you need to change.

Lord, what would we do without Your word?  Thank you for its penetrating affect on my heart.  I’m so grateful for both your conviction and Your empowering grace to help me apply what I’ve learned.  Please help me to see the one thing I need to do in response to these truths.  I’m so prone to forget, Lord, so please keep all this before me.  I’m excited about the changes that will come as I trust You with these workings in my heart.  I love you, Lord, and I love my husband.  May he be the recipient of all You’re doing in my heart!  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Love Rejoices With The Truth October 9, 2008

Tomorrow is the last day of our series on 1 Corinthians 13 as we lay the foundation for our “Doing Hard Things for Moms” series.  Today we will cover verse 6 of this chapter:  “Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing; but rejoices with the truth.”

Once again, this one was a little challenging for me to know how to apply to my marriage.  Me, rejoice at wrongdoing?  No, I rejoice at right doing!  Especially when it involves my husband.  I rejoice when he does something right…like taking me to a restaurant where they bring our food to the table rather than having to carry it there ourselves.

Benny helped me to understand what Paul is talking about in this phrase.  “Rejoicing at wrongdoing” means we expect — and then derive some kind of carnal pleasure in — the failures or sins of others.  This attitude is in stark contrast to “rejoicing with the truth” which means we find great joy in what the gospel says about others.

What might this look like in marriage?  The sinful attitudes Paul has warned against thus far – impatience, unkindness, envy, boasting, pride, rudeness, selfish insistence on my own way, irritability and resentment – naturally lead to “rejoicing at wrongdoing” in our marriage.  Why?  Because the wife who regularly battles this list of unloving sins will expect her husband to fail.  She might be regularly thinking:

•    I knew he would respond that way.
•    It doesn’t surprise me that he did/thought that.  After all, that’s his pattern.
•    Why do I let myself think he’ll really change?
•    There he goes again.  He always reacts that way.
•    He probably won’t remember.
•    How can he ask me to forgive him for that…again?

When resentment and bitterness grow in our hearts to this extent, we subtly begin to not only expect failure, but we can also insidiously “rejoice” in it.  How?  By congratulating ourselves that we were right.

Paul is saying we must stop this sinful “rejoicing in wrongdoing” by remembering the gospel.  Ladies, we must talk to rather than listen to ourselves.  As we’ve been told many times by our pastors, we must preach the gospel to ourselves everyday!  How does talking to versus listening to ourselves work in marriage?  Read the bulleted list above (i.e. listening to myself) in contrast to the list below (i.e. talking to myself):

•    My husband is a sinner who is struggling.  I bet he wishes he hadn’t responded that way.  Lord, please help him.
•    I’m not surprised that he did/thought that.  I do/think things that are contrary to God’s word, too.  God, help us both to grow and put our sin to death by Your grace.
•    I know my husband wants to change.  He has demonstrated that desire repeatedly.  Lord, please forgive me for the unbelief that tempts me to doubt Your power to change him.
•    I know what it’s like to keep reacting sinfully over and over.  Lord, please grant him the gift of conviction for his sin and give him (and me!) hope for change.  You promised you would complete the work You’ve begun in us!
•    He may forget, but if he does I need to remember the times I’ve forgotten things that were important to him.  Lord, please help my husband to become a man of his word and thank you for how hard he works to care for our family.
•    Does my husband deserve my forgiveness any less than I deserve God’s?  Lord, thank you for Your untiring forgiveness of my repeated sins against You.  Please help me to forgive my husband from the heart and give Him grace to see his sin as primarily against you, and not me.

These are not the only ways to preach the gospel to yourself in challenging situations with your husband.  They are just examples of ways to turn resentful, bitter and self-centered thoughts into loving, God-centered thoughts that keep the gospel as the “main thing” (as CJ Mahaney has taught us).

Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to how my resentful, self-righteous and man-centered thoughts have affected my marriage.  Please forgive me, and help me to preach the gospel to myself daily to combat this unbiblical thinking.  I want to keep the gospel as the main thing in my life!  I can only do that with Your help.  But because of the cross, I have hope for change in myself…and in my marriage.  Thank you for paying the price for my sin and giving me the assurance that You are at work in my husband and me.  Amen.

Love Is Not Irritable Or Resentful October 8, 2008

Today’s phrase from 1 Corinthians 13 makes a special stab at my heart;  “Love is not irritable or resentful.” (Does not keep a record of wrongs, NIV).

As I told you last week, Benny graciously helped me to see how my impatience and irritability has been evident in our marriage.  Since we talked about it, I’ve been working on mortifying the selfishness that has fueled these sins.  Honestly, it’s been challenging.  I’m always amazed at the gift of conviction of sin!  How is it that we have a glaring sin in our lives that we are blind to; then when God kindly reveals this to us (i.e. through our husbands sometimes) we now see it everywhere?

That’s what has been happening to me.  The irritability which I was blind to is really obvious now.   I will desperately want to say something (you know, when the words just spring to the tip of your tongue before you even realize it!), but will sense “the pain of sin’s nearness” (Richard Sibbes).  Just in the nick of time God will help me to be quiet and to consider a more humble way to communicate.  How grateful I am for His help!  (And if Benny knew how often this has happened, he would be grateful, too!)

But I haven’t always responded to the cautions He has brought.  Earlier this week we were not seeing a situation the same.  Benny wisely asked if we could get together with another couple to talk it through.  We had a very helpful conversation that brought clarity to some ways we had both presumed upon each other’s motives.  We left encouraged.  On the way home, however, he said something that “pushed a button” in my heart.  (Isn’t that just our sin-tainted way to excuse how God uses others to expose sin in our heart we didn’t know was there?)  The accusing, spite-laced words that came out of my mouth were hurtful to Benny.  They would have been hurtful to me, too.

Due to the hardness of my heart and the resentment that was unknowingly there, I didn’t humble myself and ask his forgiveness.  Rather, I just stopped talking.  I knew what I said was selfish and hurtful.  But because I felt I had been sinned against, too, I was more eager to marinade in my own hurt than to consider the hurt I had just caused.

Paul says, “Love is not irritable and resentful.”  Period.  No “except when he…”; “unless he…”; “but….”  God is never irritable or resentful toward us, even though our sins against him are far more serious and numerous than our husband’s sins against us.  Imagine if God kept a “record of wrongs” (See Psalm 130:3)?

Is my love for my husband  resentful and irritable when:

•    He asks forgiveness for something, but he just doesn’t “seem sincere enough?”
•    I’m exhausted after a long day caring for the children and home, yet he’s feeling affectionate and amorous?
•    He sins against me…again…and expects me to easily forgive?
•    It seems I take my sin more seriously than he does his?
•    He doesn’t take an interest in how I’m doing spiritually like my friend’s husbands do?

It’s so important that we take these kinds of attitudes and temptations seriously.  These “little foxes” can do a lot of spoiling of the vine!  Little irritations and resentments will not go away on their own.  In fact, they will grow, resulting in dangerous repercussions in our marriages.  Let’s take a few minutes to ask the Lord to rid our hearts of any resentment and bitterness toward our husbands…so that we can love them with HIS love.

Jesus, You are so faithful.  Thank you for showing me how easily irritation and resentment can grow undetected in my sinful heart.  Forgive me, Lord, for not imitating Your treatment of me in the way I relate to my husband.  You have been so kind, patient, forbearing and loving toward me.  Please give me the grace to reflect Your love to him, and to see my irritability and resentment quickly.  Thank you so much for Your help!  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Love Does Not Insist On Its Own Way October 7, 2008

Today, and for the remainder of this week, I will continue to share how the Lord is speaking to me from 1 Corinthians 13.  Today’s emphasis is from verse 5:  Love does not insist on its own way.

I remind myself regularly that indwelling sin taints everything about me; My actions, attitudes, opinions, preferences, desires, everything!  In my marriage, my sinfulness has frequently come out in that I insist on my own way.

As a wife, I am privileged to be in a position of service and submission to my husband.  This role is delightfully honored in scripture.  Unlike what some purport, wifely submission is not a position of inferiority based on male superiority.  When God created male and female in His likeness, He assigned differing roles to us that reflect His glory!  As wives, we can joyfully submit to our husband’s God-ordained leadership, trusting God to give us the power to thrive in our cherished role as his suitable helper.

Writing these words comes easy to me, due to the excellent teaching I’ve received and the decades fruit of these truths in my marriage.  But living these truths is often hard.  You see, I often think my way is the best way.  My perspective is the right one.  My wisdom is more discerning.  My plans are more…um…beneficial to the family (that’s it!).

Do you identify?

Ladies, let’s be honest.  Sometimes our way, perspective, wisdom, thoughts and plans are “righter” than our husbands.  But God didn’t call us to submit because our husbands are always right and we are always wrong.  From the beginning, God declared it “not good for man to be alone.”  In His wisdom, He knew man needed a helper – someone to come alongside him as friend, lover and counselor.  Together, this couple would reflect the nature and glory of God!

Our husbands need us.  They need our counsel, perspective and thoughts.  But they need us to share these things with Christlike humility that has a disposition of faith that God will lead through them.  Jesus, the very Son of God, submitted his life in every way to the Father.  As those called to imitate him, we must communicate our thoughts and counsel…and leave the rest to a Sovereign God.

We’ve talked about what to do when our counsel is not received or when our husband’s sin patterns are at play.  (I once again commend Carolyn Mahaney’s excellent teaching, Watch Your Man, for help in these situations.)  But day in and day out, here are some questions we can ask ourselves:

•    Do I humbly share my thoughts, opinions and counsel in a way that makes it easy for my husband to lead me and our family, especially when he disagrees?
•    Do I quietly “insist” on my way (through silence, withdrawal, pouting, etc) when he decides against something I want to do?
•    When simple preferences are in discussion, am I eager to defer?  (Or do I say “whatever you want to do, honey” but then find reasons why his preference isn’t acceptable to me…like with restaurant choices ?)
•    When I think he’s making a mistake, do I overreact (with my emotions, fearful or critical words, etc) or do I prayerfully consider a biblical appeal, that might include requesting to get others involved to help us?

Lord, please help me to not insist on my own way.  I need Your help to trust YOU when my husband and I don’t see things the same.  Give me eyes to see how often I elevate my own preferences, thoughts and opinions over those of others…especially my husband.  Forgive me for the selfishness that is so often at the root of this sin in my life.  I want to be easily led and to truly esteem him as more important than myself.  Thank you for helping me!  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Applying The Truth October 6, 2008

I thought it would be encouraging for you to hear this wonderful testimony from one of our readers.  Her desire to apply what she is learning, rather than just simply read the posts, is inspiring.  We will continue tomorrow with more on “Doing Hard Things” as wives as we apply 1 Corinthians 13 to our marriages.

Last night we went out right after dinner, and when we got home I just didn’t feel like cleaning up the kitchen.  I overslept this morning and went to clean the coffee pot from yesterday.  As I was cleaning it I heard water dumping out from the pipe beneath in my cabinet.  It had slipped off last night as I was rinsing the dishes and spaghetti sauce was everywhere!

Well…this same thing had happened (only worse) the day before Celebration when the dishwasher was running.  It ended up flooding our laundry room.  My husband fixed it temporarily, but he needed to do one last thing to complete the repair.  He planned to do it when we returned, but he didn’t.  I had just replaced all of the trash bags, foil, baggies, paper towels, etc. in the cabinet.  Now they were all ruined again.

I could feel the anger welling up inside of me.  I wanted to call my husband and let him have it.  Then I glanced over to my purse on the kitchen table which had the questions I had printed from the Metro Moms’ blog.  Seeing them brought instant conviction.  God gave me the strength and love for my husband to call him calmly and ask him to pick up some stuff at Home Depot on his way home. I asked if he would like me to email him a picture of the pipes to help with getting the right part.

Instead of being angry and making him feel bad about messing up, I was able to help him. I told him I was tempted to call a plumber, to be angry and yell at him, but I knew that this would not serve him.  Instead, I decided to pray for him.

He was very humble and gracious;  He apologized for his laziness and asked my forgiveness for having to deal with the consequences of his mistake.  Huge conflict avoided!

I realize that I did not handle this situation perfectly, but I am so grateful to God and the things I’m learning from the blog, to make a step in the right direction.

Love Does Not Envy Or Boast October 3, 2008

Whoops!  As you can see we flip-flopped yesterday’s post with today’s — Sorry!  Here’s the post that should have been posted on Thursday, but the topic is relevant no matter in which order we read them. Thanks, Sheree!

We’re continuing our introduction to “Do Hard Things: For Moms” by seeking to apply 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to our relationship with our husbands.  (If you haven’t read the other posts from this week, I would encourage you to do that first.)
Love does not envy or boast.  When I first read this in the context of my marriage, I wondered how it would apply.  I can easily see how envy or boasting could be (and is!) a temptation in my relationships with friends.  Like recently when the Lord convicted me for being jealous of a friend with a preferred floor plan in her home because their master bedroom is well away from the noises of a busy kitchen and family room.  And I have battled –unsuccessfully at times – the sin of boasting.  Like the time I found carnal pleasure in mentioning to a few friends that I had enjoyed lunch with a woman we all respect.
But I had to ask the Lord how these sins were manifested in my marriage.  Once again Mr. Webster was very helpful.  He says, “Envy springs from pride, ambition or love, mortified that another has obtained what one has a strong desire to possess.”  Of boasting, he says it is a “display of personal worth, or actions; a glorying or vaunting [being vain and self-congratulatory].”
Ok, now I get it.  Am I proud?  Does Benny get to have or do or go or enjoy things I have a “strong desire” for?  Am I tempted to proudly remind him of my worth – as a wife, mother or homemaker?  Do I glory in myself over him?  Do I vaunt my accomplishments or endeavors?  Am I self-congratulatory?  Yes to all.
Some time ago my daughter, Jaime, and I were talking about being stay-at-home moms with husbands who often get to eat and enjoy cool food prepared by others for lunch.  We joked about how much fun it would be to go to restaurants on a pretty regular basis and have someone hand us a menu with numerous yummy choices, then bring us a tall glass of sweet tea over ice (refilling it whenever it started getting low).  At the time Jaime was munching on pieces of the kids’ leftover PB & J, wondering if she should even take the time to make her own sandwich before getting fussy Annie down for her nap.
As a young mom, I remember struggling similarly.  And sometimes I still do…even though I do get to eat fun lunches more often now than then.  Here are some questions we can ask ourselves about evidences of envy and boasting in our marriage:

• Am I resentful because my husband “gets” to be gone all day doing different things, while I’m home doing the same things over and over?

• Am I hesitant to draw him about his day unless he first asks about how my day went?

• Do I resent the interesting conversations he had or what he had for lunch?

• Do I have to draw attention to how hard I worked in the home, especially when he doesn’t seem to notice, or when my hard work isn’t obvious because it’s behind a closed closet door or dresser drawer?

• Do I regularly battle self-pity over how “hard” and “mundane” my daily life is compared to his?

• Am I resentful when he has an evening meeting or accountability dinner after I’ve been with the kids all day?

Ladies, Paul is saying,“Love isn’t jealous, self-congratulatory and resentful.  It doesn’t make comparisons that result in self-pity.  It doesn’t boast and draw attention to itself.  It rejoices when another gets to do things, eat things and have experiences you wish you could have.”

Lord, please forgive me for envy and boasting in my marriage.  I didn’t even realize that these sins have been in my heart!  Help me to rejoice with my husband in the good and fun things he is able to enjoy.  Help me to see the eternal value in what I do every day, and to not make comparisons between the distinct and mutually God-honoring roles to which you have called he and I.  Give me eyes to see when envy and boasting are happening in my heart.  Thank you, Lord!  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Love Is Not Arrogant Or Rude October 2, 2008

As we close out this week, I’m thinking most of you won’t have much trouble seeing how the next warning from Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 applies in your marriage.
Love is not arrogant or rude.

As a family of churches, we’ve been well taught on the sin of pride.  In his must-read book, Humility, C.J. Mahaney defines pride as “honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness.”  The more I have become aware of my utter sinfulness before a holy God, the easier it is to see what pride looks like in my marriage.
This started becoming evident to me some years ago when the heavy hand of God’s fatherly conviction about pride, arrogance and self-righteousness was on my life.  (That season has been repeated numerous times since then!)  The person who was the most frequent recipient of my sinful attitudes and actions was Benny – the person I love most in this world…sadly, other than myself.  With God’s help and Benny’s, I started seeing how often I elevated my preferences and opinions over his.  Insisted on my own way, even “quietly.”  Judged his motives and heart.  And self-righteously lamented that our marriage would be much better if he was just more like me.  It pains me to write these words in light of how much more godly and humble I now know  he is than me.
Last week when I was seeking to apply 1 Corinthians 13 to our marriage, here are some questions that came to mind.  Does my love elevate myself over him when:

• I think, “But I’m right about this!”

• My preferences (in large or small things) differ from his?

• His desires or requests require sacrifice on my part?

• I don’t get my way or can’t buy something I want?

And then what about being rude: responding abruptly, with irritation, interrupting, using critical, mean-spirited or sarcastic words.  Simply not treating him the way I would any other friend in my car or home or over the phone.

Whew.  I have a lot to pray about to see how pride and rudeness is currently evident in my marriage.  Would you join me this weekend?  I plan to ask for Benny’s help.  Maybe you could use this week’s questions to initiate a time of biblical fellowship with your husband, too.  We’ll continue with the rest of the passage next week.

God, I need You.  I’m so grateful that the conviction of sin is met with such wonderful hope for change.  Because of Your death on the cross, I can change!  Forgive me for my pride, and please give me power to put off pride and put on humility in my marriage.  Use my husband to help me see how I need to grow. And help me to practice humility when I ask for his help.  Amen.

Posted by Sheree

Love Is Kind October 1, 2008

Today let’s look into the second quality listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4:  Love is kind. 

Years ago I had a friend who often used the word “kind.”  She spoke of the kindness of people who served her or others; the kindness of her husband for surprising her by cleaning the kitchen while she was out at a meeting; the kindness of God for saving her.  I was affected by her eyes to see these things as acts of kindness.  Today I find myself also using this gracious word because of her.

I consulted my favorite dictionary, Webster’s 1828, to discover the meaning of this rich word:  “Disposed to do good to others, and to make them happy by granting their requests, supplying their wants or assisting them in distress; having tenderness or goodness of nature; benevolent.” 

Do these words consistently describe me as a wife?  No, they don’t.  I am resisting the condemnation that I’m tempted to feel over this by reminding myself of the gospel.  But I’m asking myself, am I kind to my husband when:

• He’s weary with weighty concerns…but I am, too?
• I want to be served by him, rather than seizing the opportunity to serve him?
• I’m tired or busy with my own tasks and he asks me to help him with something?
• He’s sick and gets to stay home and be cared for (by me!) when he’s unable to care for me when I’m sick?
• I notice he could use my help with something…but he hasn’t asked?
• I have the opportunity to respond cheerfully to his request; especially when I’m not feeling very cheerful?

“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy” (Titus 3:4-5a) gives us all the motivation we need to be kind to our husbands.  God has been so kind to us!  While we were sinners He sent His Son to die for us!  And His kindness continues every moment of every day as He forebears, provides for, extends mercy to and loves us. 

Jesus, thank You for Your kindness to me!  You have been good to me.  You’ve made me full of happiness by hearing my prayers and granting my requests.  You have supplied not only my needs, but many of my wants.  You have assisted me countless times in distress, and have been tender and benevolent toward me.  Forgive me for not extending this same kindness to my husband, and thank You for the cross where I find hope for change.  Amen.

Love Is Patient September 30, 2008

We’ve all read “The Love Chapter” over and over.  Perhaps you are like many who had 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 read at your wedding.  Such poetic words are easy and soothing to read…and downright hard to live.  This week and next we’re going to look at each of the adjectives the Spirit of God through the apostle Paul exhorts us to see as evidence of justifying grace in our lives.  If we are genuine Christians who have had the love of God shed in our hearts, we will demonstrate these qualities.  But only by the power of God.   Love is patient.  I just looked up the dictionary.com definition of this word:  “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc with fortitude and calm, and without complaint, anger, or the like.”Hmmm.  Is your heart as unsettled as mine after just reading this definition?  Ladies, we must be honest.  The man God gave us, with all of his admirable qualities and wonderful virtues, is a sinner.  A sinner who provokes and annoys us.  Who hurts us and is the vessel at times of hardship in our lives.  (And, of course, we do the same to him!) 

I recently had a discussion with Benny where I asked him to give me some honest assessment about areas of needed growth in our marriage.   I was specifically eager to hear any sinful attitudes I had been demonstrating as I seek to glorify God during these menopause years.  (I know most of you are young moms who can perhaps relate to my challenges during PMS, pregnancy or post-partum times in your life.)  Benny graciously but honestly told me that he had been increasingly experiencing my annoyance and irritation when he interrupts me (i.e. while working on the computer, am doing chores) and when I have to repeat things I’ve said because he didn’t hear me clearly.  As I drew him out about the affects of my sin, he said he feels my attitude is condescending and…impatient.  He even said he sometimes doesn’t ask me to repeat myself or interrupt me while answering an email because he doesn’t want to annoy me.  How sad. 

Here are the questions I’m asking myself  as the Lord is bringing this passage alive in my heart.Is my love for Benny patient when: 

• He disappoints or sins against me? 
• He forgets or seems to trivialize something that is important to me?
• He interrupts me about something much less important than what I’m doing J? 
• My feelings are hurt by perceived insensitivity on his part? 
• I’m tired? 
• Hormonal? 
• Feeling overextended? 
• Hurried?

If God’s word is true (which it is!) then I don’t have the biblical option to be anything but patient with him.  When I choose not to be, I’m sinning against God and against him.  Do I really want to be an “imitator of Christ” (1 Cor 11:1)?  Then I must demonstrate the amazing patience of the One who not only bore the wrath of my sin, but Who daily extends fresh grace to me as I continue to sin against Him.

Lord, please forgive me for being impatient with my husband.  I acknowledge this is sin and ask for Your help to imitate Your amazing patience toward me in my relationship with him.  Thank you so much for giving me this man!  Help me to put my sin to death by Your power, and show me what my impatience looks like so I can change.  Thank you!

Posted by Sheree

Doing Hard Things As Wives September 29, 2008

For the next few weeks we will be emphasizing the “Doing Hard Things for Moms” theme we have adopted for our Mom’s Ministry this year. (If you haven’t yet done so, please listen to Danny’s excellent message at our September meeting.) But before we start talking about mom issues, I thought it would be good to first spend some time talking about our highest relational priority: our husbands.

I understand that some of you sacrificially care for you children as single moms. All of us at Metro Moms deeply respect you for the day in, day out investment of your life into your children. How blessed they are to have a mom who apprehends God’s grace for parenting alone! I watched my older sister raise two children as a single mother, and I’m aware both of the considerable sacrifices and the enabling strength of God in your unique role. But for those of us who are married, the first step to investing the hard work needed for biblical mothering – aside from our dependence on the Lord and daily reflection on the gospel – is to tenaciously pursue a heart of love, respect, service and care for our husbands. Remember that plaque on my sister’s wall? The best thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father.

This week and next, I ‘m going to be sharing from my heart – including my struggles and temptations – about what biblical love looks like in marriage. This started last week when I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 and the Holy Spirit pricked my heart with conviction. I hope to share with you some of what he’s doing in my heart in hopes you will be helped, too.

Perhaps you could read this familiar chapter today and then join me tomorrow as we look at doing hard things as wives…beginning with asking the Lord to search our hearts for areas of needed growth.

Lord, thank you for my husband. What a gift he is to me and our children. In the throes of motherhood it’s so easy sometimes to forget that apart from my relationship with You, I was created BY You to be his helper! I invite You, Holy Spirit, to search my heart. Shine the light of Your word into my heart. I invite Your conviction…Your encouragement…and hope for change that is provided for me by the cross.

Teach me, Lord. Amen.

Posted by Sheree